“Yes. The Tenth was ordered to Manchester, and they could hardly expect
me to go to a place like that. Besides, I found the major monstrous
rude.”
“How was that?”
“He expected me to know about his absurd drill, Tregellis, and I had
other things to think of, as you may suppose. I had no difficulty in
taking my right place on parade, for there was a trooper with a red nose
on a flea-bitten grey, and I had observed that my post was always
immediately in front of him. This saved a great deal of trouble. The
other day, however, when I came on parade, I galloped up one line and
down the other, but the deuce a glimpse could I get of that long nose of
his! Then, just as I was at my wits’ end, I caught sight of him, alone
at one side; so I formed up in front. It seems he had been put there to
keep the ground, and the major so far forgot himself as to say that I
knew nothing of my duties.”
My uncle laughed, and Brummell looked me up and down with his large,
intolerant eyes.
“These will do very passably,” said he. “Buff and blue are always very
gentlemanlike. But a sprigged waistcoat would have been better.”
“I think not,” said my uncle, warmly.
“My dear Tregellis, you are infallible upon a cravat, but you must allow
me the right of my own judgment upon vests. I like it vastly as it
stands, but a touch of red sprig would give it the finish that it needs.”
They argued with many examples and analogies for a good ten minutes,
revolving round me at the same time with their heads on one side and
their glasses to their eyes. It was a relief to me when they at last
agreed upon a compromise.
“You must not let anything I have said shake your faith in Sir Charles’s
judgment, Mr. Stone,” said Brummell, very earnestly.
I assured him that I should not.
“If you were my nephew, I should expect you to follow my taste. But you
will cut a very good figure as it is. I had a young cousin who came up
to town last year with a recommendation to my care. But he would take no
advice. At the end of the second week I met him coming down St. James’s
Street in a snuff-coloured coat cut by a country tailor. He bowed to me.
Of course I knew what was due to myself. I looked all round him, and
there was an end to his career in town. You are from the country, Mr.
Stone?”
“From Sussex, sir.”
“Sussex! Why, that is where I send my washing to. There is an excellent
clear-starcher living near Hayward’s Heath. I send my shirts two at a
time, for if you send more it excites the woman and diverts her
attention. I cannot abide anything but country washing. But I should be
vastly sorry to have to live there. What can a man find to do?”
“You don’t hunt, George?”
“When I do, it’s a woman. But surely you don’t go to hounds, Charles?”
“I was out with the Belvoir last winter.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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