Sailors' Knots (Entire Collection)Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
General
Sailors' Knots (Entire Collection)
Jacobs, W. W. (William Wymark)
England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English
Dicky Weed shook his 'ead. “He'd 'ave the lor on us for robbery,” he
ses; “there's nothing he'd like better.”
They talked it over till closing-time, but nobody seemed to know wot to
do, and they stood outside in the bitter cold for over arf an hour still
trying to make up their minds 'ow to get that hamper back. Fust one went
off 'ome and then another, and at last, when there was on'y three or
four of 'em left, Henery Walker, wot prided himself on 'is artfulness,
'ad an idea.
“One of us must get Bob Pretty up 'ere to-morrow night and stand 'im a
pint, or p'r'aps two pints,” he ses. “While he's here two other chaps
must 'ave a row close by his 'ouse and pretend to fight. Mrs. Pretty and
the young 'uns are sure to run out to look at it, and while they are out
another chap can go in quiet-like and get the hamper.”
It seemed a wunnerful good idea, and Bill Chambers said so; and 'e
flattered Henery Walker up until Henery didn't know where to look, as
the saying is.
“And wot's to be done with the hamper when we've got it?” ses Sam Jones.
“Have it drawed for agin,” ses Henery. “It'll 'ave to be done on the
quiet, o' course.”
Sam Jones stood thinking for a bit. “Burn the hamper and draw lots for
everything separate,” 'e ses, very slow. “If Bob Pretty ses it's 'is
turkey and goose and spirits, tell 'im to prove it. We sha'n't know
nothing about it.”
Henery Walker said it was a good plan; and arter talking it over they
walked 'ome all very pleased with theirselves. They talked it over next
day with the other chaps; and Henery Walker said arterwards that p'r'aps
it was talked over a bit too much.
It took 'em some time to make up their minds about it, but at last it
was settled that Peter Gubbins was to stand Bob Pretty the beer; Ted
Brown, who was well known for his 'ot temper, and Joe Smith was to 'ave
the quarrel; and Henery Walker was to slip in and steal the hamper, and
'ide the things up at his place.
Bob Pretty fell into the trap at once. He was standing at 'is gate
in the dark, next day, smoking a pipe, when Peter Gubbins passed, and
Peter, arter stopping and asking 'im for a light, spoke about 'is luck
in getting the hamper, and told 'im he didn't bear no malice for it.
“You 'ad the pluck to draw fust,” he ses, “and you won.”
Bob Pretty said he was a Briton, and arter a little more talk Peter
asked 'im to go and 'ave a pint with 'im to show that there was no
ill-feeling. They came into this 'ere Cauliflower public-'ouse like
brothers, and in less than ten minutes everybody was making as much fuss
o' Bob Pretty as if 'e'd been the best man in Claybury.
“Arter all, a man can't 'elp winning a prize,” ses Bill Chambers,
looking round.
“I couldn't,” ses Bob.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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