The sight of her lying there so deadly white taxed Leila's nerves
severely. But the girl revived quickly, and a cab was sent for. Leila
went with her, and told the driver to stop at Camelot Mansions. Why take
her home in this state, why not save the jolting, and let her recover
properly? They went upstairs arm in arm. Leila made her lie down on the
divan, and put a hot-water bottle to her feet. Noel was still so passive
and pale that even to speak to her seemed a cruelty. And, going to
her little sideboard, Leila stealthily extracted a pint bottle of some
champagne which Jimmy Fort had sent in, and took it with two glasses and
a corkscrew into her bedroom. She drank a little herself, and came out
bearing a glass to the girl. Noel shook her head, and her eyes seemed
to say: “Do you really think I'm so easily mended?” But Leila had
been through too much in her time to despise earthly remedies, and
she held it to the girl's lips until she drank. It was excellent
champagne, and, since Noel had never yet touched alcohol, had an
instantaneous effect. Her eyes brightened; little red spots came up in
her cheeks. And suddenly she rolled over and buried her face deep in a
cushion. With her short hair, she looked so like a child lying there,
that Leila knelt down, stroking her head, and saying: “There, there;
my love! There, there!”
At last the girl raised herself; now that the pallid, masklike despair
of the last month was broken, she seemed on fire, and her face had a
wild look. She withdrew herself from Leila's touch, and, crossing her
arms tightly across her chest, said:
“I can't bear it; I can't sleep. I want him back; I hate life—I
hate the world. We hadn't done anything—only just loved each other.
God likes punishing; just because we loved each other; we had only one
day to love each other—only one day—only one!”
Leila could see the long white throat above those rigid arms straining
and swallowing; it gave her a choky feeling to watch it. The voice,
uncannily dainty for all the wildness of the words and face, went on:
“I won't—I don't want to live. If there's another life, I
shall go to him. And if there isn't—it's just sleep.”
Leila put out her hand to ward of these wild wanderings. Like most women
who live simply the life of their senses and emotions, she was orthodox;
or rather never speculated on such things.
“Tell me about yourself and him,” she said.
Noel fastened her great eyes on her cousin. “We loved each other; and
children are born, aren't they, after you've loved? But mine won't
be!” From the look on her face rather than from her words, the full
reality of her meaning came to Leila, vanished, came again. Nonsense!
But—what an awful thing, if true! That which had always seemed to her
such an exaggerated occurrence in the common walks of life—why! now,
it was a tragedy! Instinctively she raised herself and put her arms
round the girl.
“My poor dear!” she said; “you're fancying things!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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