Gratian stayed, sorry, sore and vexed, uncertain, anxious. Her pride
was deeply wounded, her heart torn; she was angry with herself. Why
couldn't she have been more sympathetic? And yet, now that Noel was
no longer there, she again condemned the dead. What he had done was
unpardonable. Nollie was such—a child! He had committed sacrilege. If
only George would come, and she could talk it all out with him! She, who
had married for love and known passion, had insight enough to feel that
Noel's love had been deep—so far as anything, of course, could be
deep in such a child. Gratian was at the mature age of twenty. But to
have forgotten herself like that! And this boy! If she had known him,
that feeling might have been mitigated by the personal element, so
important to all human judgment; but never having seen him, she thought
of his conduct as “caddish.” And she knew that this was, and would
be, the trouble between her and her sister. However she might disguise
it, Noel would feel that judgment underneath.
She stripped off her nurse's garb, put on an evening frock, and
fidgeted about the room. Anything rather than go down and see her
father again before she must. This, which had happened, was beyond words
terrible for him; she dreaded the talk with him about Noel's health
which would have to come. She could say nothing, of course, until Noel
wished; and, very truthful by nature, the idea, of having to act a lie
distressed her.
She went down at last, and found them both in the drawing-room already;
Noel in a frilly evening frock, sitting by the fire with her chin on
her hand, while her father was reading out the war news from the evening
paper. At sight of that cool, dainty, girlish figure brooding over the
fire, and of her father's worn face, the tragedy of this business
thrust itself on her with redoubled force. Poor Dad! Poor Nollie! Awful!
Then Noel turned, and gave a little shake of her head, and her eyes
said, almost as plainly as lips could have said it: 'Silence!'
Gratian nodded, and came forward to the fire. And so began one of those
calm, domestic evenings, which cover sometimes such depths of heartache.
2
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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