Sam in the SuburbsWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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Sam in the Suburbs
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
England -- Fiction; Gangsters -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Publishers and publishing -- Fiction
It is possible, if you are young and active and in an exhilarated frame
of mind, to walk from John Street, Mayfair, to Burberry Road, Valley
Fields. Sam did so. His frame of mind was extraordinarily exhilarated.
It seemed to him, reviewing recent events, that he had detected in Kay’s
eyes for an instant a look that resembled the first dawning of spring
after a hard winter; and, though not in the costume for athletic feats,
he covered the seven miles that separated him from home at a pace which
drew derisive comment from the proletariat all along the route. The
Surrey-side Londoner is always intrigued by the spectacle of anyone
hurrying, and when that person is in dress clothes and a tall hat he
expresses himself without reserve.
Sam heard nothing of this ribaldry. Unconscious of the world, he strode
along, brushing through Brixton, hurrying through Herne Hill, and
presently arrived, warm and happy, at the door of Mon Repos.
He let himself in; and, entering, was aware of a note lying on the hall
table.
He opened it absently. The handwriting was strange to him, and feminine:
“DEAR MR. SHOTTER: I should be much obliged if you would ask your
manservant not to chirrup at me out of trees.
“Yours truly,
“KAY DERRICK.”
He had to read this curt communication twice before he was able fully to
grasp its meaning. When he did so a flood of self-pity poured over Sam.
He quivered with commiseration for the hardness of his lot. Here was he,
doing all that a man could to establish pleasant neighbourly relations
with the house next door, and all the while Hash foiling his every
effort by chirruping out of trees from morning till night. It was
bitter, bitter.
He was standing there, feeding his surging wrath by a third perusal of
the letter, when from the direction of the kitchen there suddenly
sounded a long, loud, agonised cry. It was like the wail of a soul in
torment; and without stopping to pick up his hat, which he had dropped
in the sheer shock of this dreadful sound, he raced down the stairs.
“’Ullo,” said Hash, looking up from an evening paper. “Back?”
His placidity amazed Sam. If his ears were any guide, murder had been
done in this room only a few seconds before, and here was this iron man
reading the racing news without having turned a hair.
“What on earth was that?”
“What was what?”
“That noise.”
“Oh, that was Amy,” said Hash.
Sam’s eye was diverted by movement in progress in the shadows behind the
table. A vast shape was rising from the floor, revealing itself as an
enormous dog. It finished rising; and having placed its chin upon the
table, stood looking at him with dreamy eyes and a wrinkled forehead,
like a shortsighted person trying to recall a face.
“Oh, yes,” said Sam, remembering. “So you got him?”
“Her.”
“What is he--she?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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