Baines, Scattergood (Fictitious character) -- Fiction; New England -- Fiction
"Howdy, Parson?" said Scattergood.
"How do you do, Mr. Baines?"
"Bible say anythin' regardin' visitin' the sick an' ministerin' to the
oppressed?"
"A great deal, Mr. Baines."
"Think it's meant, eh? Or was it put there jest to preach about?"
"It is meant, undoubtedly."
"For ministers?"
"Yes."
"Um!... Xenophon Banks busted his leg. 'Leven-year-old daughter's tryin'
to carry him and four other childern on to her back, so to speak."
"I'll go at once, Mr. Baines."
Scattergood fidgeted. "Calculate Xenophon wasn't forehanded. Six mouths
to feed. _More mealtimes than meals_," he said, and fumbled in his
pocket. He was visibly embarrassed. "Here's ten dollars that was give me
to be used for sich a purpose. The feller that give it let on he wanted
it to come like it was give by the church, and him not mentioned. Git
the idee?"
"I get the idea perfectly," said young Mr. Hooper, his face lighting as
he surveyed Scattergood with a whimsical twinkle--and as he saw this
scheming, money-hungry, power-hungry man in a new light. "The man may
feel confident I shall not betray him."
"If I was a minister in sich a case I wouldn't forgit some stick candy
for them five childern. Seems like candy's 'most necessary for sich. Dum
foolishness, but keeps 'em quiet.... Git a big bag of candy.... And, if
I was doin' this, I wouldn't let no grass grow under my feet."
So it happened that Selina Pettybone and the Rev. Jason Hooper,
respectively, daughter of the leading deacon of the Baptist church, and
parson of the Congregational church, arrived at Xenophon Banks's little
house within ten minutes of each other, and each was greatly embarrassed
by the other's presence, for the family feud had compelled them to be
coldly distant to each other all of their short lives.... But there was
much to do, and embarrassment of such kind between an unusually pretty
and wholesome girl, and a reasonably well-looking and kindly young man,
is not an emotion that cannot be easily dissipated.
About a week later Scattergood chanced to pass Deacon Pettybone's
house, and saw the old gentleman sitting on the front porch, shaping a
large piece of wood with a draw-shave.
"Afternoon, Deacon," said Scattergood.
"Set and rest your legs," said the deacon. "Jest puttin' the finishin'
touches on this timber leg of mine."
"Sturdy-lookin' leg, Deacon."
"Best I ever made. Always calc'late to keep one ahead. Soon's one leg
wears out and I put on the spare one, I set to work fashionin' another,
to have by me. Always manage to figger some improvement."
"More int'restin' than cuttin' out ax handles," said Scattergood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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