Religious disputations -- Fiction; Short stories, Australian
"I rolled up the scroll, and gave it back to Caius, saying that I should
like to read it all, but that at the moment I had not the time; and I
suggested that he should lend it to me. He shook his head, murmuring
that it was not his property, that it was only deposited in his house
for safe keeping, the convenience of those who wished to consult it; but
he offered to let me see it, in his house, at any time that I might
wish. I said that perhaps I might come again, and went out into the
street. I do not think that I had any intention of coming again; but as
the women passed me in the moonlit streets, and the beggar children held
out their supplicating hands, I seemed to hear the words: 'If I give
away in food all my goods, and though I give my body to be burned and
have not love, it profiteth me nothing.'
"Yes; I felt it in those streets, where little girls, still children and
innocent, aped with a diabolic mimicry the manners and allurements of
the women who followed me, followed me with a soft, rippling noise of
draperies and odour of cosmetics, like shadows, like ghosts. In the city
of the goddess of pleasure, I seemed to learn, for the first time, the
secret of pain. But beyond and above that sympathy with this drifting
helpless mass that is humanity, I felt a curious desire to learn more of
the personality of the writer who could write: 'If any man considereth
himself wise among you, let him become a fool that he may be wise, and
threaten to come among his disputing disciples with a rod.' His humility
seemed to overpass the bounds of pride, his words were whips, his
contempt for argument and disputation burned with a superhuman energy.
He seemed to say: 'These are but words, empty sounds. I teach you the
truth, accept it humbly; have I not suffered for it, and will you, who
have but enjoyed it in peace and plenty, attempt to alter it?'
"I came back to my lodgings, and the woman who had followed me turned
away with a sigh.
"The next ten days I spent on business; and I went a great deal to the
Prefect's palace where the conversation of Gallio and his friends
charmed and delighted me. Gallio saw the world and the Empire drifting
toward a complete breakdown. Civilisation, according to him, filled man
with desires which he can never gratify; it tended to accentuate the
difference between the poor and the rich, and the whole question
resolved itself for him into a question of politics. The Roman stock was
perishing, and its place was being taken by a horde of servile races.
The people were only being kept in check by a system of doles, and
amused with pageants. The burden of taxation was becoming insufferable.
"It may last our time," he said with a smile; "but the disease is
ineradicable. A revolution, or a series of great wars, might carry us
forward for a time. We are suffering from a mortal sickness, growth,
which inevitably brings decay."
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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