‘I had to bear it, nevertheless. I was aware that I had, in some degree,
brought it on myself. If I hadn’t interfered and lied, actual Braxton
would have been here at Keeb, and I at this moment sleeping soundly. But
this was no excuse for Braxton. Braxton didn’t know what I had done. He
was merely envious of me. And--wanly I puzzled it out in the dawn--by
very force of the envy, hatred, and malice in him he had projected
hither into my presence this simulacrum of himself. I had known that he
would be thinking of me. I had known that the thought of me at Keeb Hall
would be of the last bitterness to his most sacred feelings. But--I had
reckoned without the passionate force and intensity of the man’s nature.
‘If by this same strength and intensity he had merely projected himself
as an invisible guest under the Duchess’ roof--if his feat had been
wholly, as perhaps it was in part, a feat of mere wistfulness and
longing--then I should have felt really sorry for him; and my conscience
would have soundly rated me in his behalf. But no; if the wretched
creature HAD been invisible to me, I shouldn’t have thought of Braxton
at all--except with gladness that he wasn’t here. That he was visible to
me, and to me alone, wasn’t any sign of proper remorse within me. It was
but the gauge of his incredible ill-will.
‘Well, it seemed to me that he was avenged--with a vengeance. There I
sat, hot-browed from sleeplessness, cold in the feet, stiff in the legs,
cowed and indignant all through--sat there in the broadening daylight,
and in that new evening suit of mine with the Braxtonised shirtfront
and waistcoat that by day were more than ever loathsome. Literature’s
Ambassador at Keeb.... I rose gingerly from my chair, and caught
sight of my face, of my Braxtonised cheek, in the mirror. I heard
the twittering of birds in distant trees. I saw through my window the
elaborate landscape of the Duke’s grounds, all soft in the grey bloom of
early morning. I think I was nearer to tears than I had ever been since
I was a child. But the weakness passed. I turned towards the personage
on my bed, and, summoning all such power as was in me, WILLED him to be
gone. My effort was not without result--an inadequate result. Braxton
turned in his sleep.
‘I resumed my seat, and... and... sat up staring and blinking, at a tall
man with red hair. “I must have fallen asleep,” I said. “Yessir,” he
replied; and his toneless voice touched in me one or two springs
of memory: I was at Keeb; this was the footman who looked after me.
But--why wasn’t I in bed? Had I--no, surely it had been no nightmare.
Surely I had SEEN Braxton on that white bed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account