Sex and Common-SenseRoyden, A. Maude (Agnes Maude)
Philosophy
Sex and Common-Sense
Royden, A. Maude (Agnes Maude)
Marriage; Sex; Sexual ethics
Again, an increasing number of us believe that to master our physical
impulses is possible; and that it has seemed impossible--at least,
for men--in the past largely because so little knowledge and so little
common-sense has been used in achieving mastery. Naturally, it was simpler
to assume that it was impossible to control oneself than to find out how
to make it possible, but as we grow more civilized we cease to be perfectly
content with this simple plan, and begin to perceive its extraordinary
injustices and brutalities. It has been said that the civilization of any
people or period may be judged by the position of its women, and though
this is too simple to be quite true, it is far more true than false. If,
however, civilization does raise the position of women, and assign to them
a greater freedom of action and a wider scope for their lives than
was theirs before, it must be clearly understood that women in these
circumstances and of this type will take a quite different line on the
question of sex morals than their great-grandmothers did. It is, for
example, still urged that women must not do this, that or the other
work, because it involves working with men whose sex instincts may be
uncontrollably aroused by such collaboration. Sir Almroth Wright has
pleaded this, and it is being urged to-day against the entrance of women
into what is now almost the only sphere still closed to them--the spiritual
work of the Churches. It is urged that some men are afraid of being
sexually excited if they are addressed by a woman-preacher, and that others
cannot be within the sanctuary, with a woman near them, without similar
danger. The misunderstanding that arises here is, surely, that the cause of
this abnormal excitement is in the woman, whereas (in the cases cited)
it is in the man. There are, of course, women who find an exactly similar
difficulty in working with men: women who are transformed by the mere
presence of men, as there are men who cannot enter a room full of women
without physical disturbance. Such men, such women, are not necessarily
depraved or immoral persons, their temperament may be a source of genuine
distress to them. It may be most admirably controlled, and in thousands of
cases it is so, especially when the sufferer understands himself or--more
rarely--understands herself. All the help that psychology and medical
science can give (and it is much) should be given to and accepted by such
people. The one thing that should _not_ be yielded is the ridiculous claim
that men and women who are not so susceptible (and who are in the vast
majority) should rule their lives according to the standards of those who
are sexually over-developed or one-sidedly developed. It cannot be too
strongly insisted that this problem is the problem of the individual. He
(or she) has got to settle it. He must learn to manage himself in such a
way that he ceases to be abnormally excitable, or he must arrange his life
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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