"Please, let me at least tell you something!"
"Well, what is it?" she asked and sat still; she turned her face away, but
she listened.
And he began speaking rapidly and incoherently; his heart-beats trembled
in his voice, which was persuasive and full of tenderness. She could see
that all he wanted was to make her understand how unspeakably he loved
her; how he had been conquered, subdued as never before. She must believe
him; it had lain dormant and grown in his heart since the very first time
he met her. He had fought and struggled to keep his feelings within
bounds; but it was true--such a struggle was not very effective. It was
too sweet to yield, and so one yielded. One fought on with a steadily
slipping grip. And now the end had come; he could not fight any more, he
was entirely disarmed.... "I believe my breast will burst asunder."...
Still leaning away from him, she had turned her face and was gazing at him
while he spoke. Her hands had ceased their ineffectual efforts and were
now resting on his, tightly clasped around her waist; she saw the blood
leap through the veins along his throat. She straightened up and sat
erect; his hands were still around her, but she did not seem to notice it
now. She seized her gloves and said with quivering lips:
"But, Irgens, you should not say such things to me. You know you
shouldn't. It is sad, but I cannot help it now."
"No, you are right; I don't suppose I ought to have said it, but--" He
gazed at her; his lips were trembling too. "But, Miss Aagot, what would
_you_ do if your love made you weak and powerless; if it robbed you
of your senses and blinded you to everything else? I mean--"
"Yes, but say nothing more!" she interrupted. "I understand you in a way,
but--You know, I cannot listen to this." She looked at the arms around
her waist, and with a sudden jerk she moved away and got up.
She was still so confused that she remained standing immobile; she did not
even brush the heather from her dress. And when he got up she made no
effort to go, but remained where she was.
"Listen, I want you to promise not to tell this to anybody. I am afraid--
And you must not think of me any more. I had no idea that you really
cared; of course, I thought that you liked me very much--I had begun to
think that; but I never thought--'How could _he_ care for
_me?_' I always thought. If you want me to I will go back to Torahus
and stay there awhile."
He was deeply moved; he swallowed hard and his eyes grew moist. This
delicious simplicity, these candid words, her very attitude, which was
free from fear and entirely unaffected--his feelings flared up in him like
a consuming flame: No, no, not to Torahus--only stay! He would control
himself, would show her that he could control himself; she must not go
away. Even should he lose his mind and perish altogether--rather that, if
she would only stay!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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