[Footnote 1: A famous height overlooking Edinburgh.] ONEIROMANCY. I fell asleep and dreamed that I Was flung, like Vulcan, from the sky; Like him was lamed--another part: His leg was crippled and my heart. I woke in time to see my love Conceal a letter in her glove. PEACE. When lion and lamb have together lain down Spectators cry out, all in chorus; "The lamb doesn't shrink nor the lion frown-- A miracle's working before us!" But 't is patent why Hot-head his wrath holds in, And Faint-heart her terror and loathing; For the one's but an ass in a lion's skin, The other a wolf in sheep's clothing. THANKSGIVING. _The Superintendent of an Almshouse. A Pauper._ SUPERINTENDENT: So _you're_ unthankful--you'll not eat the bird? You sit about the place all day and gird. I understand you'll not attend the ball That's to be given to-night in Pauper Hall. PAUPER: Why, that is true, precisely as you've heard: I have no teeth and I will eat no bird. SUPERINTENDENT: Ah! see how good is Providence. Because Of teeth He has denuded both your jaws The fowl's made tender; you can overcome it By suction; or at least--well, you can gum it, Attesting thus the dictum of the preachers That Providence is good to all His creatures-- Turkeys excepted. Come, ungrateful friend, If our Thanksgiving dinner you'll attend You shall say grace--ask God to bless at least The soft and liquid portions of the feast. PAUPER. Without those teeth my speech is rather thick-- He'll hardly understand Gum Arabic. No, I'll not dine to-day. As to the ball, 'Tis known to you that I've no legs at all. I had the gout--hereditary; so, As it could not be cornered in my toe They cut my legs off in the fond belief That shortening me would make my anguish brief. Lacking my legs I could not prosecute With any good advantage a pursuit; And so, because my father chose to court Heaven's favor with his ortolans and Port (Thanksgiving every day!) the Lord supplied Saws for my legs, an almshouse for my pride And, once a year, a bird for my inside. No, I'll not dance--my light fantastic toe Took to its heels some twenty years ago. Some small repairs would be required for putting My feelings on a saltatory footing. _(Sings)_ O the legless man's an unhappy chap-- _Tum-hi, tum-hi, tum-he o'haddy._ The favors o' fortune fall not in his lap-- _Tum-hi, tum-heedle-do hum._ The plums of office avoid his plate No matter how much he may stump the State-- _Tum-hi, ho-heeee._ The grass grows never beneath his feet, But he cannot hope to make both ends meet-- _Tum-hi._ With a gleeless eye and a somber heart, He plays the role of his mortal part: Wholly himself he can never be. O, a soleless corporation is he! _Tum_. SUPERINTENDENT: