French fiction -- 19th century; Sand, George, 1804-1876
"By what right do I put questions to you? Do me the justice to admit
that this is the first time I have ever questioned you, in the three
months that I have known you intimately. What does it matter to me
whether you are engaged, married, or a widow? You do not choose that
anybody shall know, and have I tried to find out? Have I asked you? Ah!
Thérèse, my head is still in confusion this morning, and yet I feel
that I am lying, and I do not intend to lie to you. Friday evening I had
my first attack of curiosity with regard to you, and yesterday's was the
second; but it shall be the last, I swear, and to have done with the
subject once and for all, I propose to make a clean breast of
everything. I was at your door the other evening, that is to say, at
your garden gate. I looked, and saw nothing; I listened and I heard!
Even so, what does it matter to you? I do not know his name, I did not
see his face; but I know that you are my sister, my consolation, my
confidante, my mainstay. I know that I wept at your feet last night, and
that you wiped my eyes with your handkerchief, and said: 'What are we to
do, what are we to do, my poor boy?' I know that you, wise,
hard-working, placid, respected creature that you are, since you are
free and beloved, since you are happy, find time and charity to remember
that I exist, to pity me, and to try to make my life better. Dear
Thérèse, the man who would not bless you would be an ingrate, and,
although I am a miserable wretch, I do not know ingratitude. When will
you receive me, Thérèse? It seems to me that I insulted you? That only
was lacking! Shall I come to you this evening? If you say no, on my
word, I shall go to the devil!"
Laurent's servant brought back Thérèse's reply. It was very short:
_Come this evening_. Laurent was neither a _roué_ nor a puppy, although
he often thought of being, or was tempted to be, one or the other. He
was, as we have seen, a creature full of contrasts, whom we describe
without trying to explain, for that would not be possible; certain
characters elude logical analysis.
Thérèse's reply made him tremble like a child. She had never written
him in that tone. Was it meant as a command to him to come to receive
his dismissal upon stated grounds? or was she summoning him to a
love-meeting? Had those three words, cold or ardent as it happened, been
dictated by indignation or by passion?
[Illustration: _LAURENT PAINTS PALMER'S PORTRAIT._
_Laurent succeeded, therefore, in calming himself
sufficiently to study the American's regular, placid
features._]
Monsieur Palmer arrived, and Laurent, agitated and preoccupied as he
was, must needs begin his portrait. He had made up his mind to question
him with consummate art, and to extort all Thérèse's secrets from him.
He could devise no way of broaching the subject, and as the American
posed conscientiously, as motionless and dumb as a statue, hardly a word
was spoken on either side during the sitting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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