Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
General
Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
There was the same difficulty in relation to the second charge,
accompanied by another still greater; for, whereas John Smith was
there only accused of assault with intent to kill, he had in reality
committed a murder; which if I had affirmed, as I must have done had I
affirmed any thing at all, I should have been a living contradiction of
my own testimony, and thus considered madder than ever.
The truth is, I was in a dilemma, out of which the truth could not
extract me; and the more I thought the matter over, the greater was
my embarrassment. A feeling of integrity within me (for Zachariah
Longstraw was a man of conscience) urged me to speak the truth; while
common sense showed me how much worse than useless truth would be in
such an extraordinary conjuncture.
I received a visit from the prosecuting attorney, who very naturally
expected a clear and satisfactory account of Mr. John Smith's doings on
the night of the murder; and the difficulty I had with him (that is,
the attorney) gave me a foretaste of what I was to expect when summoned
into the witness's box in court. I remember that the gentleman, after
plying me with many questions, to which he got that sort of replies
invidiously termed "Quaker answers," flew into a huff, and threatened
me with what would be the consequence if I should prove backward in
court. And, sure enough, his prediction was verified; for, not giving a
straight answer to any one question when the trial came on, I received
divers reprimands from the court, and was finally committed for a
contempt to prison; where I lay two or three days, until called into
court again to give evidence on the second endictment, Mr. John Smith
having been found not guilty on the first. This was owing in part,
I presume, to the testimony of several surgeons, who deposed that
there were no marks of violence upon Abram Skinner's body; although
the evidence of the watchman, who had seen him alive through the
window, and afterward found John Smith burying his dead body in the
same hole with myself, went rather hard with him. I say the acquittal
was perhaps owing in part to the testimony of the surgeons; though
much of it might be attributed to the marvellous humanity that reigns
in the criminal courts of the city of Brotherly Love, to the great
benefit and encouragement of that proscribed and injured class of men,
namely--murderers.
I made little better work of the second attempt at witnessing; but,
as I have matters of much greater importance to demand my attention,
and the reader can easily infer what I did and what I did not affirm,
I must beg to despatch the second trial by relating that I was packed
off a second time to prison for contempt, but that the evidence of the
watchman, and my late wounds and bruises, were esteemed sufficient
to secure the prisoner's conviction; and accordingly John Smith was
convicted, and accommodated with lodgings in the penitentiary for the
fourth time.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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