Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
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Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 2 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
The spirit stirred within me as I beheld the contrite looks of the
culprit, and I said to myself--"While he lies in jail, his poor wife
and his infants may perish with hunger." I paid the fine, and, though
the mayor did very broadly hint to me that a little punishment would do
the man good, and his wife too, seeing that he was a barbarous fellow,
I offered myself for his security, and thus sent him back to his
rejoicing family. I said to myself--"This very night will I witness
the happiness I have created." I went accordingly to the man's house,
where I found the wicked fellow raving with drink, and beating his
wife as before, his children screaming with terror, and the neighbours
crying out for a constable. I did but say a word of reprehension to
him, when the brutish ingrate, leaving his rib, fell foul of myself,
mauling me cruelly; and I believe he would have beaten me to death, had
I not been rescued by the timely appearance of a constable. "Thee sees
the end of thy humanity!" said the mayor, when I entered his office
the next morning, that my black eye and bruised visage might testify
against the ungrateful man; "thee will not object to my committing the
fellow now?"
"Nay," said I; "it is drunkenness that has made the poor man mad.
Therefore lock him up in prison until his madness hath departed."
"I will," said the mayor; "and thee will have the goodness to pay over
to the clerk the hundred dollars in which thee bound thyself that the
rascal should keep the peace."
"Verily," said I, "it is not just I should pay the money; for the
beating was upon my own body."
"Truly," said the mayor, "and so it was; and therefore it is the harder
that thee should have to pay it. But pay it thee must, the man having
broken the peace as much in beating thee, as if it had been any other
citizen of the commonwealth."
And so much satisfaction I had for befriending the sot; the charity,
which did more harm than good even to the man's poor family, since it
exposed them a second time to his fury, costing me, without counting
the fine paid on the first day, a sore beating and one hundred dollars.
My next misadventure was the being cheated in a very aggravated way by
a poor man to whom I loaned money, without exacting bond or voucher,
the same being loaned to re-establish him in a gainful business, which
had been interrupted by an unfortunate accident. For, having prospered
in his business, and I requiring that he should now repay the money,
that I might devote it to the service of others, he very impudently
averred that he had never had any thing of me, except advice and a good
word of recommendation here and there; swore that he never paid away or
received a cent without giving or taking a receipt; defied me to prove
my claim; and concluded his baseness by threatening to kick me out of
his workshop.
These instances of ingratitude were followed by others of a still
deeper die, and so numerous, that I can mention only a few of them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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