Death -- Fiction; Friendship -- Fiction; Sick -- Fiction
Then Bernardine and Robert Allitsen drank to the health of Hans and
Liza: and then came the time of reckoning. When he was paying the bill,
Frau Steinhart, having given him the change, said coaxingly:
"Last time, you and Fräulein each paid a share: to-day you pay all. Then
perhaps you are betrothed at last, dear Herr Allitsen? Ach, how the old
Hausfrau wishes you happiness! Who deserves to be happy, if it is not
our dear Herr Allitsen?"
"You have given me twenty centimes too much," he said quietly. "You
have your head so full of other things that you cannot reckon properly."
But seeing that she looked troubled lest she might have offended him,
he added quickly:
"When I am betrothed, good little old housemother, you shall be the
first to know."
And she had to be content with that. She asked no more questions of
either of them: but she was terribly disappointed. There was something
a little comical in her disappointment; but Robert Allitsen was not
amused at it, as he had been on a former occasion. As he leaned back
in the sledge, with the same girl for his companion, he recalled his
feelings. He had been astonished and amused, and perhaps a little shy,
and a great deal relieved that she had been sensible enough to be
amused too.
And now?
They had been constantly together for many months: he who had never
cared before for companionship, had found himself turning more and more
to her.
_And now he was going to lose her_.
He looked up once or twice to make sure that she was still by his side:
she sat there so quietly. At last he spoke in his usual gruff way.
"Have you exhausted all your eloquence in your oration about learned
women?" he asked.
"No, I am reserving it for a better audience," she answered, trying to
be bright. But she was not bright.
"I believe you came out to the country to day to seek for cheerfulness,"
he said after a pause. "Have you found it?"
"I do not know," she said. "It takes me some time to recover from
shocks; and Mr. Reffold's death was a sorrow to me. What do you think
about death? Have you any theories about life and death, and the bridge
between them? Could you say anything to help one?"
"Nothing," he answered. "Who could? And by what means?"
"Has there been no value in philosophy," she asked, "and the meditations
of learnèd men?"
"Philosophy!" he sneered. "What has it done for us? It has taught us
some processes of the mind's working; taught us a few wonderful things
which interest the few; but the centuries have come and gone, and the
only thing which the whole human race pants to know, remains unknown:
our beloved ones, shall we meet them, and how?--the great secret of the
universe. We ask for bread, and these philosophers give us a stone.
What help could come from them: or from any one? Death is simply one of
the hard facts of life."
"And the greatest evil," she said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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