Litvinov felt much annoyed with himself, as though he had lost money at
roulette, or failed to keep his word. An inward voice told him that
he--on the eve of marriage, a man of sober sense, not a boy--ought not
to have given way to the promptings of curiosity, nor the allurements of
recollection. ‘Much need there was to go!’ he reflected. ‘On her side
simply flirtation, whim, caprice.... She’s bored, she’s sick of
everything, she clutched at me ... as some one pampered with dainties
will suddenly long for black bread ... well, that’s natural enough....
But why did I go? Can I feel anything but contempt for her?’ This last
phrase he could not utter even in thought without an effort.... ‘Of
course, there’s no kind of danger, and never could be,’ he pursued his
reflections. ‘I know whom I have to deal with. But still one ought not
to play with fire.... I’ll never set my foot in her place again.’
Litvinov dared not, or could not as yet, confess to himself how
beautiful Irina had seemed to him, how powerfully she had worked upon
his feelings.
Again the day passed dully and drearily. At dinner, Litvinov chanced to
sit beside a majestic _belhomme_, with dyed moustaches, who said
nothing, and only panted and rolled his eyes ... but, being suddenly
taken with a hiccup, proved himself to be a fellow-countryman, by at
once exclaiming, with feeling, in Russian, ‘There, I said I ought not to
eat melons!’ In the evening, too, nothing happened to compensate for a
lost day; Bindasov, before Litvinov’s very eyes, won a sum four times
what he had borrowed from him, but, far from repaying his debt, he
positively glared in his face with a menacing air, as though he were
prepared to borrow more from him just because he had been a witness of
his winnings. The next morning he was again invaded by a host of his
compatriots; Litvinov got rid of them with difficulty, and setting off
to the mountains, he first came across Irina--he pretended not to
recognise her, and passed quickly by--and then Potugin. He was about to
begin a conversation with Potugin, but the latter did not respond to him
readily. He was leading by the hand a smartly dressed little girl, with
fluffy, almost white curls, large black eyes, and a pale, sickly little
face, with that peculiar peremptory and impatient expression
characteristic of spoiled children. Litvinov spent two hours in the
mountains, and then went back homewards along the Lichtenthaler
Allee.... A lady, sitting on a bench, with a blue veil over her face,
got up quickly, and came up to him.... He recognised Irina.
‘Why do you avoid me, Grigory Mihalitch?’ she said, in the unsteady
voice of one who is boiling over within.
Litvinov was taken aback. ‘I avoid you, Irina Pavlovna?’
‘Yes, you ... you----’
Irina seemed excited, almost angry.
‘You are mistaken, I assure you.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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