I felt this, and yet somehow I was puzzled--puzzled at an indescribable
something in her manner that was quite apart from pride--something that
left me with the decidedly unpleasant impression she was surely acting
a part, and--yet--why should she? Why should her ladyship be anything
but frank with the poor and inoffensive cousin of her husband?
But what was it that made her eyes fall as they encountered mine, and
wander furtively round the room; and why that sudden look of fear that
crept into them as they alighted on the fireplace.
“You wont mind sitting here till bedtime, will you?” she observed, “I
will tell Webster, my maid, to bring you your candle at eleven o’clock.
If there is anything you want, you have only to tell HER. All our
guests play bridge, and I concluded from what Robert told me you didn’t
approve of gambling, so I thought you would be happier here. We are
expecting other anti-gamblers in a few days, so your banishment will
only be temporary! You will excuse us for a time, wont you?”
What other reply could I give but “O yes! most certainly! It is indeed
kind of you to allow me the use of such a lovely room, &c.,” and Lady
Wentworth departed from my presence with a gracious--a most patronising
and highly gracious smile. I was of course charmed and flattered,
as any poor connection by marriage should be, but I wished all the
same that Robert had also come to welcome me, I should have felt more
at ease with Robert! I liked Robert, and--well, I did not like his
beautiful and accomplished wife. Had he come only for two minutes I
should not have minded, but I was tired, I felt neglected, and I longed
for kindness. Kindness after St. Rudolphs. It was not like Robert,
we had been such friends in our youth; children together, playmates,
chums! Had money and position changed his nature?
Money! I grew dispirited! I was poor! terribly poor! I was lonely! Oh,
so lonely!
The room was huge, the night cold and the fire SMALL--very small.
Drawing my chair close to it I simulated ease; I tried to feel cosy!
Cosy!
What a barrier, an insurmountable barrier, was poverty to pleasure!
Would Robert’s wife have banished a countess? Fancy a countess
experiencing a reception such as this! A countess in a vast room empty
save for draughts and a Liliputian fire! A countess! I laughed! I was
growing common like the mediocre parents of St. Rudolphs. Vulgarity is
catching! It is both epidemic and endemic.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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