Squire Arden; volume 1 of 3Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
Squire Arden; volume 1 of 3
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
England -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; Landowners -- Fiction
“And so I am,” said Clare, hastily brushing away the tears. “I know he
is good--he is better than me; but he puts me all wrong notwithstanding.
He will not see things as I do. His nature is always leading him the
other way. He has no sort of feeling--no--Oh! I don’t know how to
describe it. He puts me all wrong.”
“You must not indulge such thoughts,” said the Rector, with a certain
mild authority which did not misbecome him. “He shows a great deal of
right feeling, it appears to me. And we must not discuss Edgar’s
qualities. He is Edgar, and that is enough.”
“You don’t need to tell me that,” cried Clare, with sudden offence; and
then she stopped, and controlled herself. “I should like to go and see
this old Scotchwoman,” she added, after a moment’s pause. What she had
said was true, though she was sorry for having said it. Edgar, with his
strange ways of thinking, his spontaneousness, and freedom of mind, had
put her all wrong. She had been secure and certain in her own system of
life so long as everybody thought with her, and the bonds of education
and habit were unbroken. But now, though she was still as strong in her
Ardenism as ever, an uneasy, half-angry feeling that all the world did
not agree with her--nay, that the person of most importance to her in
the world did not agree with her--oppressed Clare’s mind, and made her
wretched. It is hard always to bear such a blow, struck at one’s
youthful convictions. It is intolerable at first, till the young
sufferer learns that other people have really a right to their opinions,
and that it is possible to disagree with him or her and yet not be
wicked. Clare could not deny that Edgar’s different views were
maintained with great gentleness and candour towards herself--that they
were held by one who was not an evil-minded revolutionary, but in every
other respect all that she wished her brother to be. But she felt his
eyes upon her when she said and did many little things which a few weeks
ago she would have thought most right and natural; and even while she
chafed at the tacit disapprobation, a secret self-criticism, which she
ignored and struggled against, stole into the recesses of her soul. She
would not acknowledge nor allow it to be possible; but yet it was there.
The natural consequence was that all her little haughtinesses, her airs
of superiority, her distinctions between the Ardens and their class and
all the rest of the world, sharpened and became more striking. She was
half-conscious that she exaggerated her own opinions, painted the lights
whiter and the shadows more profound, in involuntary reaction against
the new influences which began to affect her. She had not noticed the
Pimpernels, though she knew them well by sight, and all about them; but
she had no active feeling of enmity towards them until that unfortunate
day when they ventured to call, and Edgar, in his ignorance, received
them as if they had been the family of a Duke. Since then Clare had come
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account