Black humor; Country life -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
On the other side of Tyrrel sat Lady Binks, lately the beautiful Miss
Bonnyrigg, who, during the last season, had made the company at the Well
alternately admire, smile, and stare, by dancing the highest Highland
fling, riding the wildest pony, laughing the loudest laugh at the
broadest joke, and wearing the briefest petticoat of any nymph of St.
Ronan's. Few knew that this wild, hoydenish, half-mad humour, was only
superinduced over her real character, for the purpose of--getting well
married. She had fixed her eyes on Sir Bingo, and was aware of his
maxim, that to catch him, "a girl must be," in his own phrase, "bang up
to every thing;" and that he would choose a wife for the neck-or-nothing
qualities which recommend a good hunter. She made out her catch-match,
and she was miserable. Her wild good-humour was entirely an assumed part
of her character, which was passionate, ambitious, and thoughtful.
Delicacy she had none--she knew Sir Bingo was a brute and a fool, even
while she was hunting him down; but she had so far mistaken her own
feelings, as not to have expected that when she became bone of his bone,
she should feel so much shame and anger when she saw his folly expose
him to be laughed at and plundered, or so disgusted when his brutality
became intimately connected with herself. It is true, he was on the
whole rather an innocent monster; and between bitting and bridling,
coaxing and humouring, might have been made to pad on well enough. But
an unhappy boggling which had taken place previous to the declaration of
their private marriage, had so exasperated her spirits against her
helpmate, that modes of conciliation were the last she was likely to
adopt. Not only had the assistance of the Scottish Themis, so
propitiously indulgent to the foibles of the fair, been resorted to on
the occasion, but even Mars seemed ready to enter upon the tapis, if
Hymen had not intervened. There was, _de par le monde_, a certain
brother of the lady--an officer--and, as it happened, on leave of
absence,--who alighted from a hack-chaise at the Fox Hotel, at eleven
o'clock at night, holding in his hand a slip of well-dried oak,
accompanied by another gentleman, who, like himself, wore a military
travelling-cap and a black stock; out of the said chaise, as was
reported by the trusty Toby, was handed a small reise-sac, an Andrew
Ferrara, and a neat mahogany box, eighteen inches long, three deep, and
some six broad. Next morning a solemn _palaver_ (as the natives of
Madagascar call their national convention) was held at an unusual hour,
at which Captain MacTurk and Mr. Mowbray assisted; and the upshot was,
that at breakfast the company were made happy by the information, that
Sir Bingo had been for some weeks the happy bridegroom of their general
favourite; which union, concealed for family reasons, he was now at
liberty to acknowledge, and to fly with the wings of love to bring his
sorrowing turtle from the shades to which she had retired, till the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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