English fiction -- 19th century; Ireland -- Fiction; Short stories, English
This sustained him for a while; but as day after day passed and no
appearance of action presented itself, he could not choose but increase
in courage. His soul, like a sword-blade too long in the scabbard, was
beginning to get fuliginous by inactivity. He looked upon the point of
his own needle and the bright edge of his scissors with a bitter pang
when he thought of the spirit rusting within him; he meditated fresh
insults, studied new plans, and hunted out cunning devices for provoking
his acquaintances to battle, until by degrees he began to confound his
own brain and to commit more grievous oversights in his business than
ever. Sometimes he sent home to one person a coat with the legs of a
pair of trousers attached to it for sleeves, and despatched to another
the arms of the aforesaid coat tacked together as a pair of trousers.
Sometimes the coat was made to button behind instead of before; and he
frequently placed the pockets in the lower part of the skirts, as if he
had been in league with cutpurses.
This was a melancholy situation, and his friends pitied him accordingly.
“Don’t be cast down, Neal,” said they; “your friends feel for you, poor
fellow.”
“Divil carry my frinds,” replied Neal; “sure, there’s not one o’ yez
frindly enough to be my inimy. Tare an’ ouns! what’ll I do? I’m
blue-mowlded for want of a batin’!”
Seeing that their consolation was thrown away upon him, they resolved to
leave him to his fate; which they had no sooner done then Neal had
thoughts of taking to the Skiomachia as a last remedy. In this mood he
looked with considerable antipathy at his own shadow for several nights;
and it is not to be questioned but that some hard battles would have
taken place between them had it not been for the cunning of the shadow,
which declined to fight him in any other position than with its back to
the wall. This occasioned him to pause, for the wall was a fearful
antagonist, inasmuch as it knew not when it was beaten; but there was
still an alternative left. He went to the garden one clear day about
noon, and hoped to have a bout with the shade free from interruption.
Both approached, apparently eager for the combat and resolved to conquer
or die, when a villainous cloud, happening to intercept the light, gave
the shadow an opportunity of disappearing, and Neal found himself once
more without an opponent.
“It’s aisy known,” said Neal, “you haven’t the _blood_ in you, or you’d
come to the scratch like a man.”
He now saw that fate was against him, and that any further hostility
toward the shadow was only a tempting of Providence. He lost his health,
spirits, and everything but his courage. His countenance became pale and
peaceful-looking; the bluster departed from him; his body shrank up like
a withered parsnip. Thrice was he compelled to take in his clothes, and
thrice did he ascertain that much of his time would be necessarily spent
in pursuing his retreating person through the solitude of his almost
deserted garments.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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