Stories by English Authors: London (Selected by Scribners)
General
Stories by English Authors: London (Selected by Scribners)
London (England) -- Fiction; Short stories, English
“Enough, enough!” cried Leibel. “I tell you, I would not have her if she
were a machine warehouse.”
“There sticks something behind,” persisted Sugarman, unconvinced.
Leibel shook his head. “Only her hump” he said with a flash of humour.
“Moses Mendelssohn had a hump,” expostulated Sugarman, reproachfully.
“Yes, but he was a heretic,” rejoined Leibel, who was not without
reading. “And then he was a man! A man with two humps could find a wife
for each. But a woman with a hump cannot expect a husband in addition.”
“Guard your tongue from evil,” quoth the Shadchan, angrily. “If
everybody were to talk like you Leah Volcovitch would never be married
at all.”
Leibel shrugged his shoulders, and reminded him that hunchbacked girls
who stammered and squinted and halted on left legs were not usually led
under the canopy.
“Nonsense! Stuff!” cried Sugarman, angrily. “That is because they do not
come to me.”
“Leah Volcovitch _has_ come to you,” said Leibel, “but she shall not
come to me.” And he rose, anxious to escape.
Instantly Sugarman gave a sigh of resignation. “Be it so! Then I shall
have to look out for another, that’s all.”
“No, I don’t want any,” replied Leibel, quickly.
Sugarman stopped eating. “You don’t want any?” he cried. “But you came
to me for one?”
“I--I--know,” stammered Leibel. “But I’ve--I’ve altered my mind.”
“One needs Hillel’s patience to deal with you!” cried Sugarman. “But
I shall charge you, all the same, for my trouble. You cannot cancel an
order like this in the middle! No, no! You can play fast and loose with
Leah Volcovitch, but you shall not make a fool of me.”
“But if I don’t want one?” said Leibel, sullenly.
Sugarman gazed at him with a cunning look of suspicion. “Didn’t I say
there was something sticking behind?”
Leibel felt guilty. “But whom have you got in your eye?” he inquired,
desperately.
“Perhaps you may have some one in yours!” naively answered Sugarman.
Leibel gave a hypocritic long-drawn “U-m-m-m! I wonder if Rose
Green--where I work--” he said, and stopped.
“I fear not,” said Sugarman. “She is on my list. Her father gave her to
me some months ago, but he is hard to please. Even the maiden herself is
not easy, being pretty.”
“Perhaps she has waited for some one,” suggested Leibel.
Sugarman’s keen ear caught the note of complacent triumph.
“You have been asking her yourself!” he exclaimed, in horror-stricken
accents.
“And if I have?” said Leibel, defiantly.
“You have cheated me! And so has Eliphaz Green--I always knew he was
tricky! You have both defrauded me!”
“I did not mean to,” said Leibel, mildly.
“You _did_ mean to. You had no business to take the matter out of my
hands. What right had you to propose to Rose Green?”
“I did not,” cried Leibel, excitedly.
“Then you asked her father!”
“No; I have not asked her father yet.”
“Then how do you know she will have you?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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