Marriage -- Fiction; Short stories, English; Wives -- Fiction
"I do not think," she spoke slowly, answering the look, the intonation,
rather than the words, "that I am going to do anything unworthy."
But Dering, with sharp suspicion, suddenly became aware that she had
changed colour, and that from pale she had become red. His mind glanced
quickly over their comparatively small circle of friends and
acquaintances--first one, then another familiar figure rose, hideously
vivid, before him. He felt helpless, bewildered, fettered.
"Do you contemplate leaving me for another man?" he asked quietly.
Again Louise hesitated for a moment.
"Yes," she said at length, "that is what I am going to do. I did not
mean to tell you now--though I admit that later, before the end, you
would have had a right to know. The man to whom I am going, and who is
not only willing, but anxious, to make me his wife, I mean his legal
wife,"--she gave Dering a quick, strange look--"has great need of me,
far more so than you ever had. My feeling for him is not in any way akin
to what was once my feeling for you; that does not come twice, at any
rate to such a woman as I feel myself to be; but my affection, my--my
regard, will be, in this case, I believe, more enduring; and, as you
know, I dearly love his children, and promised their mother to take care
of them."
While she spoke, Dering, looking fixedly at her, seemed to see a shadowy
group of shabby forlorn human beings form itself and take up its stand
by her side--Jack Hinton, with his weak, handsome face, and shifty,
pleading eyes; his two plain, neglected-looking girls; and then, cradled
as he had so often seen it in Louise's arms, the ugly and to him
repulsive-looking baby.
What chance had he, what memories had their common barren past, to fight
this intangible appealing vision?
He raised his hand and held it for a moment over his eyes, in a vain
attempt to shut out both that which he had evoked, and the sight of the
woman whose repudiation of himself only seemed to make more plainly
visible the bonds which linked them the one to the other. Then he turned
away, with a certain deliberation, and, having closed the door, walked
quickly through the little hall, flinging himself bare-headed into the
open air.
* * * * *
For the second time that day Philip Dering felt an urgent need of
solitude in which to hold communion with himself. And yet, when striding
along the dimly-lighted, solitary thoroughfares, the stillness about him
seemed oppressive, and the knowledge that he was encompassed by
commonplace, contented folk intolerable.
And so, scarcely knowing where his feet were leading him, he made his
way at last into the broad, brilliantly lighted High Road, now full of
glare, of sound, and of movement, for throngs of workers, passing to and
fro, were seeking the amusement and excitement of the street after their
long, dull day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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