Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. LathropWarner, Anne
General
Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop
Warner, Anne
Humorous stories; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Matter?" Susan put down the toast and drew herself up to her full
height as she spoke. "Yes, Mrs. Lathrop, a good deal is the matter.
You ain't seen Jathrop, have you?"
"No; where--"
"He's gone!"
"Gone?"
"Gone. Mr. Weskin give him to understand as he'd better go somewhere
'n' he got on a train 'n' did it. If he hadn't, he might 'a' been
lynched."
"Lynched!" screamed the mother, sitting suddenly up. A direful
cracking resounded under the bed-clothes as she did so, but in the
excitement of the moment its possible evil portent went unnoticed.
"Lynched," repeated Susan; "that's what I said, 'n' bein' 's I was
brought up to speak the truth 'n' fear no man, you c'n depend upon its
bein' so. But you must eat your breakfast, Mrs. Lathrop,--you mustn't
go without eatin' or you'll lose your strength 'n' then blood poison
'll set in. 'N' that reminds me 't Mr. Weskin asked me yesterday if
you'd made your will. Have you?"
"No; but I want to know about--"
"He says you'd ought to right off. He says there 's no tellin' where
anythin' 'll end 'n' it 's wise to be prepared for the worst. He said
he knowed a man as walked on a tack 'n' jus' called it a tack, 'n'
first they had to cut off the tack 'n' then the toe 'n' then the foot,
'n' they kept on slicin' him higher 'n' higher till he died without no
will a _tall_. I said you wasn't no tack but a cow, but he said it was
all one, 'n' I guess it is 's far 's the lawyers go. I expeck it'd be
only a poor lawyer 's couldn't argue a tack into a cow--'n' out of her
again, too, f'r that matter--'n' Mr. Weskin ain't no poor--"
"But about Ja--"
"--Lawyer. He's 's fine 's they make. O' course a good deal o' the
time no one knows what he means, but that ain't nothin' ag'in' him,
f'r I think with a lawyer you ginerally don't. It's a part o' their
business not to let no one know what they mean, f'r 'f law was simple
no one 'd ever get fooled."
'N' Jath--"
"He's gone. You c'n make your mind easy about him, f'r he got away all
safe. Hiram Mullins chased him clear to the station 'n' nigh to
catched him, but there was a train jus' movin' out, 'n' Jathrop
shinned up the little fire-escape on the back o' the calaboose 'n' was
off. 'N' now 't he is gone, Mrs. Lathrop, I'm goin' to right out plain
'n' tell you to your face 's it's a good thing f'r you 's he _is_
gone, 'n' you want to thank Heaven 's sent him to you 't that train
was so handy to take him away ag'in."
"But what--" asked Mrs. Lathrop feebly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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