And Bałdyga was continually in my mind, as if he were alive. I had sat
for hours at my half-finished task. Somehow I could not stick to work;
the pen fell from my hand, and my unruly thoughts ranged far away
beyond the snowy frontier and frosty ground. In vain I appealed to my
reason, in vain I repeated wholesome advice to myself for the tenth
time. Hitherto I had offered some resistance to the sickness which had
consumed me for several weeks; to-day I felt completely overcome and
helpless. Homesickness was devouring and making pitiless havoc of me.
I had been unable to resist dreaming so many times already; was it
likely I should withstand the temptation to-day? The temptation was
stronger, and I was weaker than usual.
So begone frost and snow, begone the existence of Yakutsk! I threw
down my pen, and surrounding myself with clouds of tobacco smoke,
plunged into the waters of feverish imagination.
And how it carried me away!... My thoughts fled rapidly to the far
West, across morasses and steppes, mountains and rivers, across
countless lands and cities, and spread a scene of true enchantment
before me. There on the Vistula lay my native plains, free from misery
and human passions, beautiful and harmonious. My lips cannot utter,
nor my pen describe their charm!
I saw the golden fields, the emerald meadows; the dense forests
murmured their old legends to me.
I heard the rustle of the waving corn; the chirping of the feathered
poets; the sound of the giant oaks as they haughtily bid defiance to
the gale.
And the air seemed permeated by the scent of those aromatic forests,
and those blossoming fields, adorned in virgin freshness by the blue
cornflowers and that sweetest beauty of Spring,--the innocent violet.
... Every single nerve felt the caress of my native air.... I was
touched by the life-giving power of the sun's rays; and although the
frost outside creaked more fiercely, and showed its teeth at me on the
window panes more menacingly, yet the blood circulated in my veins
more rapidly, my head burnt, and I sat as if spellbound, deaf, no
longer seeing or hearing anything round me....
II
I did not notice that the door opened and someone entered my room,
neither did I see the circles of vapour, which form in such numbers
every time a door is opened that they obscure the face of the person
entering. I did not feel the cold: it penetrates human dwellings here
with a sort of shameless, premeditated violence. In fact, I had seen
or heard nothing until suddenly I felt a man close to me, and even
before catching sight of him, found myself involuntarily putting him
the usual Yakut question:
'Toch nado?' ('What do you want?')
'If you please, Sir, I am a hawker,' was the answer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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