I had remarked that he was always powerfully affected by music;
on this occasion he was so in an extraordinary degree. As the
peeling notes swelled through the lofty aisles, he seemed to
kindle up with fervor. His eyes rolled upwards, until nothing but
the whites were visible; his hands were clasped together, until
the fingers were deeply imprinted in the flesh. When the music
expressed the dying agony, his face gradually sunk upon his
knees; and at the touching words resounding through the church,
“_Jesu mori_,” sobs burst from him uncontrolled. I had never seen
him weep before; his had always been agony rather than sorrow. I
augured well from the circumstance. I let him weep on
uninterrupted. When the service was ended we left the church. He
hung on my arm as we walked homewards, with something of a softer
and more subdued manner; instead of that nervous agitation I had
been accustomed to witness. He alluded to the service we had
heard. “Music,” said he, “is indeed the voice of heaven; never
before have I felt more impressed by the story of the atonement
of our Saviour. Yes, my friend,” said he, clasping his hands with
a kind of transport, “I know that my Redeemer liveth.”
We parted for the night. His room was not far from mine, and I
heard him for some time busied in it. I fell asleep, but was
awakened before daylight. The young man stood by my bed-side,
dressed for travelling. He held a sealed packet and a large
parcel in his hand, which he laid on the table. “Farewell, my
friend,” said he, “I am about to set forth on a long journey;
but, before I go, I leave with you these remembrances. In this
packet you will find the particulars of my story. When you read
them, I shall be far away; do not remember me with aversion. You
have been, indeed, a friend to me. You have poured oil into a
broken heart,—but you could not heal it.—Farewell—let me kiss
your hand—I am unworthy to embrace you.” He sunk on his knees,
seized my hand in despite of my efforts to the contrary, and
covered it with kisses. I was so surprised by all this scene that
I had not been able to say a word.
But we shall meet again, said I, hastily, as I saw him hurrying
towards the door.
“Never—never in this world!” said he, solemnly. He sprang once
more to my bed-side—seized my hand, pressed it to his heart and
to his lips, and rushed out of the room.
Here the Baronet paused. He seemed lost in thought, and sat
looking upon the floor and drumming with his fingers on the arm
of his chair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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