'Tom was a weeda (widower), an' on the look-out for anither missus, an' havin' had a great big woman for his first--a proper marrow ov himself i' size an' shape--an' not havin' been ower well satisfied wiv his venture, he thinks he'll try a smaller article for his second lott'ry. 'Well, Tom was elwis very free an' open wiv his conversation, an' mevvies Lizzie, she gets ti hear ov it; but she pretends ti tak' no notice o' Tom when she passes along the Raa,[12] or meets Tom i' the street. She just sails past him, noo wiv head i' the air, again wiv her eyes upon the ground, mournfu' like for the loss of her man, an' Tom becomes quite bewitched by her manners, for she was a fair contrast wiv Bella, who had ti tarrify him wiv a summons from the pollis at the finish before she could get him ti marry her i' chorch. 'Well, she bags him clivvor at the finish, an' they gets theyselves married wivoot more ado. 'A week efter comes "pay-Friday,"[13] an', natorally, quite apart from the "celebration of his nuptials," as the newspaper cheps say, he gets hissel' as boosy as can be, what wi' standin' treat, an' bein' treat an' aal, an' efter closin' time it was wi' some difficulty that me an' my marrer gets him along home. 'We knocks on the door, an' we assists him in, an' he staggers up tiv his missus, who was sittin' iv her armchair knittin', an' tries ti gie her a bit chuck under the chin. "Ho--way----," he stutters, "Lizzie, maa lass, an' put us ti bed!" an' stoopin' down iv a staggerin' way ti kiss her loses his balance, an' flops doon unexpected on the floor. "Ye needn't wait," Lizzie says tiv us, haughty-like, takin' no notice o' Tom, an' sae oot we gans, an' leaves them. But we just stops a minute ootside ti hear Lizzie gie him his gruel; an', wow! but she let him have it, an' no mistake! "Thoo great flamin' drunken lubbert!" says she, "comin' home ti my hoos at this time o' night, drunk as a lord, an' only been married a week!" she cries. "Thoo mun just get used wiv it, maa lass," says he solemnly from the floor; "for aa elwis gets drunk reg'lor on a pay-Friday; an' it'sh maa hoos thoo ----, for aa's maistor," he says, thinkin', mevvies, he mun assert hissel' even if he has had his gills. '"Put thoo ti bed?" cries she. "Wey, I'll not touch thoo, nor let thoo touch me nowther till thoo's sober again, an's begged maa pardon." '"Pardon-sh?" says Tom, an' laughs, fair amused by her impittence. "Wey, if maa legs wesn't sae wambly the night, I'd larn thoo a lesson, thoo ----" '"Get up, an' try, thoo sponge o' beer," she says, an' snaps her fingers iv his face. "Get up, an' try," cries she again. "I daur thoo ti;" an' she actually has the impittence ti stir him wiv her foot. Just fancy that! A yard an' a half o' petticoat, fair insultin' upon a proper mountain ov a man like Tom! The door was a bit open, d'ye see, an' my marrer an' me could see them two comics quite plain.