"Two honest tradesmen, meeting in the Strand, One took the other briskly by the hand; 'Hark ye,' said he, ''tis an odd story this, About the crows!' '_I don't know what it is_,' Replied his friend.--'No! I'm surprised at that; Where I come from, it is the common chat. But you shall hear: an odd affair indeed! And, that it happen'd, they are all agreed; Not to detain you from a thing so strange, A gentleman that lives not far from 'Change, This week, in short, as all the Alley knows, Taking a puke, has thrown up _three black crows_.' '_Impossible!_' 'Nay, but it's really true; I have it from good hands, and so may you.' '_From whose, I pray?_' So having nam'd the man, Straight to enquire his curious comrade ran. '_Sir, did you tell?_'--relating the affair. 'Yes, sir, I did; and if it's worth your care, Ask Mr. Such-a-one, he told it me,-- But, by-the-bye, 'twas _two_ black crows, not _three_.' Resolv'd to trace so wondrous an event, Whip, to the third, the virtuoso went. '_Sir_,'--and so forth. 'Why, yes; the thing is fact, Though in regard to number not exact; It was not _two_ black crows, but only one; The truth of _that_ you may depend upon. The gentleman himself told me the case.'-- 'Where may I find him?'--'Why, in such a place.' Away goes he, and having found him out, 'Sir, be so good as to resolve a doubt;' Then to his last informant he referr'd, And begg'd to know, if _true_ what he had heard, 'Did you, sir, throw up a black crow?'--'Not I.' 'Bless me! how people propagate a lie! Black crows have been thrown up, _three_, _two_, and _one_: And here, I find, all comes, at last, to _none_! Did you say _nothing_ of a crow at _all_?' 'Crow--Crow--perhaps I might, now I recall The matter over.'--'And, pray, sir, what was't?' 'Why I was horrid sick, and, at the last, I did throw up, and told my neighbour so, Something that was--_as black_, sir, as a crow.'" An Englishman and a Yankee were once talking about the speed at which the trains travelled in their respective countries. The Englishman spoke of the "Flying Dutchman" travelling sixty miles an hour. "We beat that hollow," said the Yankee. "Our trains on some lines travel so fast that they outgo the sound of the whistle which warns of their coming, and reach the station first." Of course the "Britisher" gave the palm to his American cousin, and said no more about English locomotive travelling.