London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
She now felt sorry for Bruce, utterly and completely indifferent about
'the Townsend case', as she already humorously called it to herself.
But, she thought, she _must_ be strong! She was not prepared to lose
her dignity, nor to allow the children to be educated by a woman whose
faith at least with them and in their home was unreliable; their
surroundings must be crystal-clear. It would make a certain difference
to them, she thought. How could it not? There were so many little ways
in which she might spoil them or tease them, scamp things, or rush
them, or be nicer to one of them, or less nice, if she had any sort of
concealed relation with their father. And as she had been treated
absolutely as a confidante by Edith, the girl had certainly shown
herself treacherous, and rather too clearly capable of dissimulation.
Edith thought this must have a bad effect on the children.
Edith was essentially a very feminine woman though she had a mental
attitude rightly held to be more characteristic of men. Being so
feminine, so enraged under her calm and ease, she was, of course, not
completely consistent. She was still angry, and very scornful of Miss
Townsend. She was hurt with her; she felt a friend had played her
false--a friend, too, in the position of deepest trust, of grave
responsibility. Miss Townsend knew perfectly well what the children
were to Edith, and, for all she knew, there was no-one in Edith's life
except Bruce; so that it was rather cruel. Edith intended to keep up
her dignity so absolutely that Miss Townsend could never see her again,
that she could never speak to Edith on the subject. She wished also,
_very_ much, that Bruce should never see her again, but didn't know how
to encompass this. She must find a way.
On the other hand, after the first shock and disgust at seeing him,
Edith's anger with Bruce himself had entirely passed. Had she not
known, for years, that he was a little weak, a little fatuous? He was
just as good a sort now as he had ever been, and as she was not blinded
by the resentment and fury of the real jealousy of passion, Edith saw
clearly, and knew that Bruce cared far more for _her_ than for anybody
else; that in so far as he could love anybody he loved her in his way.
And she wanted to keep the whole thing together on account of Archie,
and for Dilly's sake. She must be so kind, yet so strong that Bruce
would be at once grateful for her forbearance and afraid to take
advantage of it. Rather a difficult undertaking!...
And she had seen Aylmer again! There was nothing in it about Miss
Argles. What happiness! She ought to have trusted him. He cared for
her. He loved her. His sentiment was worth having. And she cared for
him too; how much she didn't quite know. She admired him; he fascinated
her, and she also felt a deep gratitude because he gave her just the
sort of passionate worship that she must have always unconsciously
craved for.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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