"I'm afraid that's the truth."
"It must have been a dreadful tiff."
"Oh, no."
"What was it about?"
"She objected to--to a certain attitude I had taken up. That was all.
Nothing very dreadful."
He said: "I suppose the reason you won't tell me is because the quarrel
was about me. And I can guess what it was. She blamed you for persuading
me to go away."
I said nothing.
"Didn't she? Wasn't that it?"
"Well, if you insist on knowing, that _was_ it, more or less.... But
what on earth's the good of diving back into things that happened so
many years ago?"
"We can't help it," he said, uneasily. "We haven't done with the past
yet.... We can't push it away and say 'That's finished with.' It never
is finished with." He paused and then went on: "And so she thought that
it was _you_ who persuaded me?"
"I didn't deny it."
"But why didn't you? You _should_ have denied it. It was absurd for you
to be blamed. You didn't persuade me at all--I made up my mind myself.
It wasn't _your_ fault."
"You thanked me in your letter for what I had said, anyhow."
"Did I? Did I?" His eyes sharpened as if searching for something inside
his own head. "I don't remember that letter. I only remember sitting up
all night and making up my mind that I couldn't--I _couldn't_..." Some
spasm of memory seemed to give him eagerness; he went on: "Don't you see
why we _must_ help Severn? ... _I_ couldn't _then_--_he_ mustn't
_now_--don't you _feel_ how it is? ... We _must_ help him--he's
unhappy--he's been driven into all this by his unhappiness. It's not
_his_ fault."
At any rate, we had come back to the main argument. That was something.
"I'm afraid," I said, "that you're in danger of flying to the other
extreme about Severn. I believe, as you do, that he's fundamentally a
decent fellow, but the fact remains that he's infernally clever and can
lie beautifully whenever it suits him. It seems to me that it's hardly
likely that the right's _all_ on his side. Most probably Helen has a
case, if she were here to tell it."
"Oh, I know ... it's not _her_ fault."
"You say it's not her fault, and not Severn's fault either. Then whose
fault do you suppose it is?"
I was a fool to ask that question. It made him suddenly crumple up--made
him lean forward with his head in his outstretched hands and yield
himself up to desolate, hysterical sobbing. "_My_ fault," he cried, as
soon as he had power to utter a word. "Not his--or hers either--but
mine--_mine_--all _mine_...."
VII
And that, after seven years, was what he had been driven to....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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