The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the FarmCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
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The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the Farm
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Farms -- Recreational use -- United States -- Fiction; Humorous stories
In short, taking one thing with another, I have never favored sleeping
porches. But after listening to friends who either had them or who were
so sorry they didn't have them that they were determined we should
have a full set of them on our house, we concurred in the consensus of
opinion and decided to cast aside old prejudices and to have them at
all hazards. I believe in the rule of the majority--of course with a
few private reservations from time to time, as for instance, when the
majority gets carried away by this bone-dry notion.
I recall in particular one friend who was especially emphatic and
especially convincing in the details of offering suggestions and advice,
and--where he deemed such painful measures necessary--in administering
reproof for and correction of our faulty misconceptions of what a house
should be. But then he was a Bostonian by birth and a Harvard
graduate and had the manner--shall we call it the slightly
superior manner?--which so often marks one who may boast these two
qualifications. When you meet a well-bred native Bostonian who has been
through Harvard it is as though you had met an egg which had enjoyed
the unique distinction of having been laid twice and both times
successfully. Our friend was distinctly that way. When he had rendered
judgment there was no human appeal. It never occurred to us there could
be any appeal.
So we incorporated sleeping porches and vistas through and sun parlors
and a hundred other things--more or less--into the plan. Obeying the
wills of stronger natures than ours, we figuratively knocked out
walls and then on subsequent and what appeared to be superior counsel
figuratively stuck them back in again. We lifted the roof for air and we
lowered it for style. We tiled the floors and then untiled them and put
down beautiful mental hardwood all over the place. We rejected paneled
wainscotings in favor of rough-cast plaster and then abolished the
plaster for something in the nature of a smooth finish for our walls.
By direction we tacked on an ell here and an annex there. If we had kept
all the additions which at one period or another we were quite sure we
must keep in order to make our home complete we should have had a house
entirely unsuitable for persons of our position in life to reside in,
but could have made considerable sums of money by renting it out for
national conventions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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