Humorous stories; Mistaken identity -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
“Oh, you can, can you? Boys, Johnny Bull can tell us what would happen
if I was to snatch this chump’s cap off and slap him in the face with
it. Now you’ll see.”
He snatched the cap and struck the youth in the face, and before he
could inquire what was going to happen, it had already happened, and he
was warming the tin with the broad of his back. Instantly there was a
rush, and shouts of:
“A ring, a ring, make a ring! Fair play all round! Johnny’s grit; give
him a chance.”
The ring was quickly chalked on the tin, and Tracy found himself as
eager to begin as he could have been if his antagonist had been a
prince instead of a mechanic. At bottom he was a little surprised at
this, because although his theories had been all in that direction for
some time, he was not prepared to find himself actually eager to
measure strength with quite so common a man as this ruffian. In a
moment all the windows in the neighborhood were filled with people, and
the roofs also. The men squared off, and the fight began. But Allen
stood no chance whatever, against the young Englishman. Neither in
muscle nor in science was he his equal. He measured his length on the
tin time and again; in fact, as fast as he could get up he went down
again, and the applause was kept up in liberal fashion from all the
neighborhood around. Finally, Allen had to be helped up. Then Tracy
declined to punish him further and the fight was at an end. Allen was
carried off by some of his friends in a very much humbled condition,
his face black and blue and bleeding, and Tracy was at once surrounded
by the young fellows, who congratulated him, and told him that he had
done the whole house a service, and that from this out Mr. Allen would
be a little more particular about how he handled slights and insults
and maltreatment around amongst the boarders.
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Tracy was a hero now, and exceedingly popular. Perhaps nobody had ever
been quite so popular on that upper floor before. But if being
discountenanced by these young fellows had been hard to bear, their
lavish commendations and approval and hero-worship were harder still to
endure. He felt degraded, but he did not allow himself to analyze the
reasons why, too closely. He was content to satisfy himself with the
suggestion that he looked upon himself as degraded by the public
spectacle which he had made of himself, fighting on a tin roof, for the
delectation of everybody a block or two around. But he wasn’t entirely
satisfied with that explanation of it. Once he went a little too far
and wrote in his diary that his case was worse than that of the
prodigal son. He said the prodigal son merely fed swine, he didn’t have
to chum with them. But he struck that out, and said “All men are equal.
I will not disown my principles. These men are as good as I am.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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