At “Elysium” chum and I were sitting, Across our vision memories flitting, Talking, smoking, often spitting On the hearth, not on the floor; When suddenly we heard a spluttering, As of book leaves madly flutt’ring, Some one there seemed slowly mutt’ring, At the bookcase, not the door. Wildly springing to my feet (Chum with fright seemed tied t’ his seat), Dreading, fearing I should meet What so like a ghost had spoken-- Fellow members, if you’re able To believe what seemed a fable, I saw “Miss Annie” on the table, With rage and anger almost choking. Then without a bow or bend, Sitting up upon one end, Without preface thus began-- While we both in wonder stared: “O ye worthless lazy scamps! Talk about your midnight lamps, While I’m in the bookcase crampt, To what can such Sophs be compared? “Here you’ll sit and smoke and talk, To-morrow morn to black-board walk, Seize your ‘ruler’ and your chalk, Then I hope get badly ‘rushed.’ Oh! the present generation, Such neglect to education, Blood and scissors! thunderation!” She was so mad the tears forth gushed. Chum and I had heard enough To put us both in quite a huff, So just to stop her noisome stuff I sprang and seized her by the collar. George jumped up and grabbed the poker, Shouted, “Edwin, try to choke her! We’ll stop her mouth, a darned old croaker, Squeeze her tight and make her ‘holloa.’” To the fire we held her near, Still she showed no signs of fear. “Shall the red coals be your bier?” She shook her leaves and fluttered, “No.” Now my face with anger flushes, Covered first with scarlet blushes, I cried, “Will you again e’er ‘rush’ us?” Quoth Miss Annie, “Evermore.” “Book or fiend,” I cried, up starting, “Be that word our sign of parting.” Then I, in my vengeance darting, Hurled her in the embers red. She slightly quivered, slowly burned; From the sickening sight I turned, Yet from her this lesson learned, Prepare before you go to bed. LINES TO COUSINS C. AND E. ON THE BIRTH OF THEIR LITTLE DAUGHTER The marriage over, from the train Of watching seraphs, one long strain Of gratulation broke. And then were still the rustling wings, And fingers hushed the throbbing strings, While thus an angel spoke: “Who’ll go to earth to bless this pair With angel child, beneath their care Be trained for bliss or woe?” He ceased, and from the throng sprang three, Faith, Love, and spotless Purity. These knelt, and said “We’ll go.” Dear cousins, to you these are sent, Three spirits in one being blent. It is a jewel rare. Oh! keep her pure as when first given, Guide her faith from Earth to Heaven, Guard her love with care.