The Army Mule, and Other War SketchesCastle, Henry A. (Henry Anson)
History
The Army Mule, and Other War Sketches
Castle, Henry A. (Henry Anson)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865; United States. Army -- Military life
No lightning-rod adorned its frowning pediment, lank and fatiguing
reminder of Ben Franklin,--thrifty printer,--and his kite, such as
never was before in air or tree; also of the glib and evanescent
vendor whose monopoly of all fascinations was only equaled by his
absolute prostration of all moral attributes. That convoluted metallic
insufficiency thrust not its aluminum barb above the crest of this
domicile, like a reed shaken by the wind, mute witness to each passer
of the owner's sweet credulity.
Trifling in weight, as was each segment of the Shelter Tent,
unappreciable addition to individual burden, and willingly borne for
the increased facility and certainty of bivouac, the aggregate relief
to the department of transportation was like shriving a bad man's
conscience of crime or lifting a fear from a coward's soul. The
reduction of regimental trains from thirteen wagons to three was as
efficient in ultimate results as the withdrawal of guards from
confederate poultry-coops and the obliteration of zouave jackets;
possibly more so.
The Shelter Tent was the after-glow of an understudy, so to speak, but
it was a potent helper in the grand tragedy. It came into war annals
greeted with a welcome warm as that vouchsafed on election night to
the missing precinct that brings the necessary majority. This welcome
was tendered when use brought due appreciation of its value, not
earlier. Its original introduction was as sensational as when John
Barleycorn comes to town, and brings his blizzard with him. Its first
arrival met with jeers; with hot reviling; with barkings imitative of
indignant dog, or brayings as of disgusted donkey; with cursings such
as tear the curser's lungs to ragged tatters; with mellowing miracles
of profanest speech, horizonless trans-continental sentences of words
hurled endlong, overthwart, each word a stab or blister; with mutiny
and riot ludicrous to recall. But all in vain. Reeking language, that
put immortal souls in peril, availed nothing.
The Shelter Tent came for use, and it came to stay. Orders were
imperative and discipline was supreme. Jeering, barking, braying,
cursing, rioting were as futile as the purr of a Vassar kitten at the
advent of a long-haired aesthete, wearing an air of discontent and a
coat with efflorescent elbows.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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