The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three ActsPailleron, Edouard
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The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three Acts
Pailleron, Edouard
Comedy plays; French drama -- Translations into English
BELLAC. Are you very anxious to leave me? (_He gives her a packet of
papers tied with a red ribbon_) There!
LUCY. The proofs!
BELLAC. (_Agitated_) Of my book!
LUCY. (_Also moved_) Of your—? Oh, M. Bellac!
BELLAC. It was my wish to have you see it before anyone else! You only!
LUCY. (_Taking his hand—effusively_) Oh, my dear friend! My dear friend!
PAUL. (_As before_) Oh, my, what a gift of love!
(BELLAC _moves a little to the left_.)
LUCY. What is it?
BELLAC. Nothing—nothing.—I thought—Read this book in which I have put
my inmost thoughts, and you will find that we are in perfect accord, I
am sure—except upon one point—Oh, that question——!
LUCY. Which?
BELLAC. (_Tenderly_) Is it possible that you really do not believe in
Platonic love?
LUCY. I? Not in the least!
BELLAC. (_Graciously_) Very well, but what of our relations?
LUCY. (_Simply_) Our relations? Friendship!
BELLAC. (_Playing with the idea_) I beg your pardon! More than
friendship, better than love!
LUCY. Well, if it’s more than the one and better than the other, then
it’s neither! And now, thank you once more; thank you a thousand times!
But let us go back, shan’t we? (_She starts to go_)
BELLAC. (_Detaining her_) Wait a moment!
LUCY. No, no, let us go back!
PAUL. (_To_ JEANNE) She won’t take the bait!
BELLAC. (_Always holding her back_) Please wait, I beg you!—Two words!
Two words! Explain to me, tell me—it’s worth the trouble! Come, Lucy!
LUCY. Come, Bellac! (_Becoming animated, as she passes to the right_)
But see, my friend, listen, M. Bellac—your Platonic love has absolutely
no philosophical basis——
BELLAC. Pardon me, that love is a kind of friendship——
LUCY. If it’s friendship it is no longer love.
BELLAC. But it’s a double concept!
LUCY. If it’s double, it cannot be a unit!
BELLAC. But there is a fusion! (_He seats himself_)
LUCY. If it is a fusion, it has no longer an individuality. I’ll
explain my meaning! (_She seats herself_)
PAUL. (_To_ JEANNE) She’s swallowed the hook!
LUCY. I deny that any fusion is possible between love, which is based
upon indivisibility, and friendship, which is largely composed of
sympathy; that is to say, that in which the Ego becomes, in a way, the
Non-Ego. I deny absolutely, absolutely——!
DUCHESS. (_To_ MME. DE CÉRAN) I have often heard people talk about
love, but never that way!
BELLAC. But, Lucy——
LUCY. But, Bellac—Yes or no, the principal factor——
BELLAC. But, Lucy—Here’s an example: suppose two beings, two
abstractions, two entities—any man, any woman,—who love each other, but
with an ordinary physiological love—you follow me?
LUCY. Perfectly!
BELLAC. Let us suppose these two in the following circumstances; they
are alone at night, together—what would happen?
DUCHESS. (_To_ MADAME DE CÉRAN) I don’t know, do you?
BELLAC. Without fail—now pay close attention—without fail, this
phenomenon will take place.
JEANNE. (_To_ PAUL) It’s so funny!
PAUL. Do you think so, Madame?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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