What was her surprise when the awakened “corpse” ardently clasped her in his arms, returned the salute with interest, and exclaimed: “Never mind the old lady, Miss; go it on your own account; I haven’t the least objection.” There is the experience of kissing the cook. “I say, Mr. Smithers,” said Mrs. Smithers to her husband, “didn’t I hear you down in the kitchen kissing the cook?” “My dear,” replied Smithers, blandly, “permit me to insist upon my right to be reasonably ignorant. I really cannot say what you may have heard.” “But wasn’t you down there kissing the cook?” “My dear, I really cannot recollect. I only remember going into the kitchen and out again. I may have been there, and from what you say I infer I was. But I cannot recollect just what occurred.” “But,” persisted the ruthless cross-examiner, “what did Jane mean when she said: ‘Oh, Smithers, don’t kiss so loud, or the old she-dragon up-stairs will hear us?’” “Well,” said Smithers, in his blandest tones, “I cannot remember what interpretation I did put on the words at the time. They are not my words, you must remember.” Our journey in the sweet fields of osculation stops here. As a conclusion to the whole matter, let us say with the immortal bard: Now let me say good-night, and so say you; If you will say so, you shall have a kiss. [Illustration] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A Hundred Ways of Kissing Girls; Or, HISTORY OF THE KISS. [Illustration] When we write an advertisement and tell you we have something extra good—=a real LIVE novelty=—we mean what we say. The fact that we sell our goods to the same people all the year around is proof positive that we please our customers. This new book “A Hundred Ways of Kissing Girls,” is a novelty and entirely unique in every way. To give you some idea of this book we herewith give a =complete list= of the many titles into which this subject has been divided: What to Expect; L’Envoi; History of the Kiss; How to Kiss a Girl; Origin of the Kiss Under the Mistletoe; Who Kissed First, Adam or Eve; They Kiss Even in England; Revelations of a Newly Wed; A Kissing Soup Party; Asking for a Kiss; How the Widow was Consoled; Lackawanna Jack’s Ideal Kiss; Value of a Kiss; The Stage Kiss; The Kiss Analyzed, by Ella Wheeler Wilcox; How Kisses may be sent by mail; Way to Kiss a Girl; Kisses a la Gibson; Kissing Games; Kisses that Brought Good and Bad Luck; Mouth to Kiss; An Unwilling Kiss; Kissing Jokes; A Black Kiss; Kisses Have Been Called; Kissing Don’ts; Kissing by Telephone; Lip Culture; Kissing Trees; Evolution of Kissing, etc.