And now I must conclude, for my voice is husky with much speaking. Most of the great orators are dead. Cicero is dead; Demosthenes is dead, and to tell the truth, gentlemen, I don’t feel very much alive myself! (Great applause.) _NERO’S LETTER OF ACCEPTANCE._ TO THE DILETTANTE POLITICAL CLUB: Greeting—It is with pleasure that I accept the endorsement of your distinguished body. All I ask is that if the voters don’t feel like giving the position to me, kindly turn down the other fellows. Alexander and Louis XIV. will serve their constitutions, but not their country. They offered their services in the late unpleasantness, but only on condition that they were not to leave the country unless the enemy entered it. Your endorsement of me has been hanging over their heads like a dynamite bomb swung from a socialistic cobweb. Now the silence of political oblivion has fallen with a dull, sickening thud, and they are shaking in their boots with muffled ice and bated breath. The party plank is a see-saw to catch votes. I stand upon this platform: I am in favor of making Hades the centre of the universe as it now is of the earth, and building a bridge over the Styx to New York, so that disappointed politicians and all others weary of life may here find refuge and a warm welcome. I am in favor of fortifying the Styx, which would give Captain Kidd and his pirates a chance to swoop down on the commerce in New York Bay and get back to Hades unmolested. They could also form a combination with the chicken thieves of the African colony, and the supply of fowls brought across the river would establish for all time the pre-eminence of Hades as an all-the-year-’round resort. Yours for harmony, NERO, REX. Hotel Hereafter, CIMMERIA, HADES-ON-STYX. Mephisto, Proprietor and Cook. _WHEN IS WAGED THE BATTLE OF BALLOTS._