We understand that in Hades woman has her rights, that she can exercise her franchise, yet not a single woman has voted to-day. It all goes to show that a woman desires only what she can’t get. She would rather use the ballots for curling papers or to trim her bonnet than to put into a stuffed box. But there’s another reason. According to the registration, not one woman in Hades is of votable age. None would acknowledge being more than “sweet and twenty!” _ELECTION EXTRA! LAST EDITION!_ The battle of ballots is over. The last scratched ticket has been counted and the victor is—“Boss” Tweed! The New York politician, as Nero’s manager, had charge of the distribution of tickets and pasted his own name over that of the Roman emperor. All’s fair in war and politics. Tweed deserves a tablet in the corridors of the hall of fame as well as the key to its front door! NOAH’S PERSONALLY CONDUCTED EXCURSION TO EARTH. CHAPTER XI. Noah’s Personally Conducted Excursion to Earth. All the Stygian colony was thrown into a state of unusual excitement one hot December morning by the following posters replacing the campaign lithographs of Nero and Alexander: LAST CHANCE TO COOL OFF! UNSURPASSED FUNSEEKING EXCURSION TO THE MIRTH-PROVOKING REGION OF EARTH ON SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18. (Next day Sunday, giving ample time to get back—also to recover and look sober) BASEBALL AT THE BATTERY. The committee guarantees the game, not the quality of the playing. Umpire Shylock promises to make the score as close as his nature will permit. This is the line-up: Count Ercolo Antonio Matthioli—Mask Wearers—Louis Duc de Vermandois. Ananias—Fancy Twirlers—Munchausen. Napoleon—First Sack—Louis XIV. Boswell—Middleman—Sancho Panza. Herr Bismark—Where the Keg Is—Rip Van Winkle. Tweed—Hole in the Wall—Quay. Nero—All Out—Alexander. Beau Brummel—Centre of Attraction—Ward McAllister. Bobbie Burns—Where the Daisies Droop Their Heads—Longfellow. N. B.—Only dead-head tickets accepted. Get pasteboards from the committee. Reception. R. s. v. p. NOAH, _Chairman_, P. T. BARNUM, CAPTAIN KANE. All that week Noah’s personally-conducted excursion to earth was the one topic of conversation. The Stygianites ceased to watch the thermometer and even forgot to stone the clerk of the weather bureau. It was the burning question of the hour in Hades and smouldered for several days. Two days after it had been posted, I joined the group reading the circular for the ’steenth time.