The Astonishing History of Troy TownQuiller-Couch, Arthur
General
The Astonishing History of Troy Town
Quiller-Couch, Arthur
Cornwall (England : County) -- Fiction
"Well, the shopman laffs, o' cou'se, but lets 'n ha' hes own way; an'
th' ould man picked out the biggest--bright blue et was, suthin' the
colour of a hedgy-sparrer's egg, an' shiny-clear like a glass-alley.
They was a brave long while gettin' et fixed, 'cos 'twas so big.
Ef he'd a-been content an' took a smaller wan, he'd ha' done better:
but he was bound to be over-reachin', was th' ould varmint, an' so he
comed to grief, as you shall hear. There's many folks i' this world
be knowin' as Kate Mullet."
"I never heard of that lady," said Mr. Fogo.
"There's not much to know, sir, 'cept that they say her was hanged
for a fool. Hows'ever, to shorten the yarn, ould Mennear got hes eye
fixed at las', an' went home wi' Aunt Deb'rah so pleased as Punch.
"Nex' Sunday 'twas Hamlet's Ghost 'mong the 'Rig'nal Seceders, an' no
mistake! Some o' the female members fell to screamin' so soon as
iver they clapped eyes on th' ould man, an' Sister Trudgeon was tuk
wi' a fit, an' had to be carr'd out wi' two deacons to her head an'
two to her heels, an' kickin' so that Deacon Hoskins cudn' master hes
vittles for up a fortni't, he was that hurted internally. An' the
wust was, that what wi' the rumpus an' her singin' out 'Pillaloo!'
an' how the devil was amongst mun, havin' great wrath, the Lawyer's
sarmon about a 'wecked an' 'dulterous generation seekin' arter a
sign' was clean sp'iled. Arter the sarvice, too, there was a deal of
discussin'. Some said 'twas senful to interfere wi' Natur' i' that
way, an' wrong in a purfessin' Christian like Mennear; an' all agreed
the new eye gave 'n a janjansy [6] kind o' look, 'as ef,' said Deacon
Hoskins, 'he was blinchin' [7] fifty ways for Grace.' There was some
talk, too, about axin' the old man to resign; but nuthin' came o't.
An' arter a time, when the congregashun got a bit reconciled, folks
began to allow the new eye improved Mennear's pulpit manner, an'
guessed that, arter all, et mou't be a powerful engine for effectual
salvashun. Et had a _dead_ appearance, ef you understands me, sir,
and yet a sort o' gashly wakefulness, like a thing onhuman, 'cos o'
cou'se et niver winked; th' ould man cudn' ha' winked, not for a
fi'-pund note, for the thing was that big et strained his eyelid like
a drum. 'Sides which, et had a way o' keepin' order 'mong the
worshippers that you cudn' believe onless you seed it; for, let alone
the colour o't, you niver knawed whether 'twas fixed on you or ten
pews off, but somehow felt dead-sure 'twas you all the time, an'
cudn' ha' moved, not if you had a blue-tailed fly inside the back o'
your collar.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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