The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 13, No. 80, June, 1864: A Magazine of Literature, Art, and PoliticsVarious
General
The Atlantic Monthly, Volume 13, No. 80, June, 1864: A Magazine of Literature, Art, and Politics
Various
American periodicals
The circle, which was very select, consisted of three highly susceptible
ladies and Stellato as medium-in-chief. Miss Turligood, a sort of
Oroveso to the Druidical chorus, was a muscular spinster, fierce and
forty, sporting steel spectacles, a frizette of the most scrupulous
honesty, and a towering comb which formed what the landscape-gardeners
call "an object" in the distance. Next this commanding lady, with fat
hands sprawled upon the table, sat Mrs. Colfodder, widow, according to
the flesh, of a respectable Foxden grocer. By later spiritual
communications, however, it appeared that matters stood very
differently; for no sooner had the departed Colfodder looked about him a
little in the world to come than he proceeded to contract marriage with
Queen Elizabeth of England, thereby leaving his mortal relict quite free
to receive the addresses of the late Lord Byron, whose proposals were of
the most honorable as well as amatory character. Miss Branly, by far the
most pleasing of the lady-patronesses, was a fragile, stove-dried
mantua-maker,--and, truly, it seemed something like poetic justice to
recompense her depressed existence with the satisfactions of a material
heaven full of marryings and givings in marriage.
"Will Sir Joseph tip for us again?" inquired Miss Turligood, with her
eyes fixed upon a crack in the mahogany table. "Will he? Will he not?
Will he?"
Sir Joseph vouchsafed no answer.
"Hark! wasn't that a rap?" cried Stellato, in a husky whisper.
Here every one pricked an ear towards the table.
"Doctor Franklin, is that you?"
"The Doctor promised to be present to give a scientific and
philosophical view of these communications," parenthesized the
interrogator.
"Doctor Franklin, is that _you_?"
A faint creaking is audible.
"Byron's sign, as I'm a living woman!" ejaculated the Widow Colfodder.
"Her spiritual partner and guardian-angel," explained Miss
Turligood,--and this for my satisfaction as the last-comer.
Direct examination by the widow:--
"Have you brought your patent lyre here to-night?"
For the enlightenment of the company:--
"He played the lyre so beautiful on earth, that when he got to the
spheres a committee gave him a golden one, with all the modern
improvements."
Question concerning the lyre repeated. A mysterious rubbing interpreted
as an affirmative reply.
"Have you brought Pocahontas with you? (she 'most always comes with
him)--and if so, can she kiss me to-night?"
The table is exceedingly doubtful.
"Could she kiss Colonel Prowley, or even pull his hair a little?"
No certainty of either.
"Can she kiss Miss Turligood?"
The table is satisfied that it couldn't be done.
"Let me try her," urged Stellato, with the confidence of an expert; then
in seductive tones,--
"Couldn't Pocahontas kiss Miss Branly, if all the lights were put out?"
Pocahontas thought it highly probable that she could.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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