The Autobiography of Mark Rutherford, Edited by his friend Reuben ShapcottWhite, William Hale
General
The Autobiography of Mark Rutherford, Edited by his friend Reuben Shapcott
White, William Hale
Religious fiction
“So I said that I was sorry to hear the poor man attacked; that he had
done wrong, no doubt, but so had the woman who was brought before Jesus;
and that with me, charity or a large heart covered a multitude of sins.
I added that there was something dreadful in the way in which everybody
always seemed to agree in deserting the unfortunate. I was a little
moved, and unluckily upset a teacup. No harm was done; and if my
husband, who sat next to me, had chosen to take no notice, there need
have been no disturbance whatever. But he made a great fuss, crying,
‘Oh, my dear, pray mind! Ring the bell instantly, or it will all be
through the tablecloth.’ In getting up hastily to obey him, I happened
to drag the cloth, as it lay on my lap; a plate fell down and was broken;
everything was in confusion; I was ashamed and degraded.
“I do not believe there was a single point in Mr. Hexton’s character in
which he touched the universal; not a single chink, however narrow,
through which his soul looked out of itself upon the great world around.
If he had kept bees, or collected butterflies or beetles, I could have
found some avenue of approach.—But he had no taste for anything of the
kind. He had his breakfast at eight regularly every morning, and read
his letters at breakfast. He came home to dinner at two, looked at the
newspaper for a little while after dinner, and then went to sleep. At
six he had his tea, and in half-an-hour went back to his counting-house,
which he did not leave till eight. Supper at nine, and bed at ten,
closed the day.
“It was a habit of mine to read a little after supper, and occasionally I
read aloud to him passages which struck me, but I soon gave it up, for
once or twice he said to me, ‘Now you’ve got to the bottom of that page,
I think you had better go to bed,’ although perhaps the page did not end
a sentence. But why weary you with all this? I pass over all the rest
of the hateful details which made life insupportable to me. Suffice to
say, that one wet Sunday evening, when we could not go to chapel and were
in the dining-room alone, the climax was reached. My husband had a
religious magazine before him, and I sat still, doing nothing. At last,
after an hour had passed without a word, I could bear it no longer, and I
broke out—
“‘James, I am wretched beyond description!”
“He slowly shut the magazine, tearing a piece of paper from a letter and
putting it in as a mark, and then said—
“‘What is the matter?’
“‘You must know. You must know that ever since we have been married you
have never cared for one single thing I have done or said; that is to
say, you have never cared for me. It is _not_ being married.’
“It was an explosive outburst, sudden and almost incoherent, and I cried
as if my heart would break.
“‘What is the meaning of all this? You must be unwell. Will you not
have a glass of wine?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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