At length his brawny knees gave way, And on the carpet sinking, Upon his shapeless back he lay And kicked away like winking. Instead of seeing in his state The finger of unswerving Fate, He laboured still To work his will, And kicked away like winking. His friends, disgusted with him now, Away in silence wended-- I hardly like to tell you how This dreadful story ended. The shocking sequel to impart, I must employ the limner's art-- If you would know, This sketch will show How his exertions ended. [Illustration] MORAL I hate to preach--I hate to prate-- I'm no fanatic croaker, But learn contentment from the fate Of this West India broker. He'd everything a man of taste Could ever want, except a waist: And discontent His size anent, And bootless perseverance blind, Completely wrecked the peace of mind Of this West India broker. [Illustration] AN APPEAL Oh! is there not one maiden breast Which does not feel the moral beauty Of making worldly interest Subordinate to sense of duty? Who would not give up willingly All matrimonial ambition To rescue such a one as I From his unfortunate position? Oh, is there not one maiden here, Whose homely face and bad complexion Have caused all hopes to disappear Of ever winning man's affection? To such a one, if such there be, I swear by heaven's arch above you, If you will cast your eyes on me,--- However plain you be--I'll love you! [Illustration] THE PANTOMIME "SUPER" TO HIS MASK Vast, empty shell! Impertinent, preposterous abortion: With vacant stare, And ragged hair, And every feature out of all proportion! Embodiment of echoing inanity, Excellent type of simpering insanity, Unwieldy, clumsy nightmare of humanity, I ring thy knell! To-night thou diest, Beast that destroy'st my heaven-born identity! Twelve weeks of nights Before the lights, Swamped in thine own preposterous nonentity, I've been ill-treated, cursed, and thrashed diurnally, Credited for the smile you wear externally-- I feel disposed to smash thy face, infernally, As there thou liest! I've been thy brain: _I've_ been the brain that lit thy dull concavity! The human race Invest _my_ face With thine expression of unchecked depravity: Invested with a ghastly reciprocity, _I've_ been responsible for thy monstrosity, I, for thy wanton, blundering ferocity-- But not again!