Christmas stories, English; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"I had tried to seem indifferent to him;" and she pressed her sister's
face against her own; "but that was hard, and you were always his true
advocate. I had tried to tell you of my resolution, but you would never
hear me; you would never understand me. The time was drawing near for
his return. I felt that I must act, before the daily intercourse between
us was renewed. I knew that one great pang, undergone at that time,
would save a lengthened agony to all of us. I knew that if I went away
then, that end must follow which _has_ followed, and which has made us
both so happy, Grace! I wrote to good Aunt Martha, for a refuge in her
house: I did not then tell her all, but something of my story, and she
freely promised it. While I was contesting that step with myself, and
with my love of you, and home, Mr. Warden, brought here by an accident,
became, for some time, our companion."
"I have sometimes feared of late years, that this might have been,"
exclaimed her sister, and her countenance was ashy-pale. "You never
loved him--and you married him in your self-sacrifice to me!"
"He was then," said Marion, drawing her sister closer to her, "on the
eve of going secretly away for a long time. He wrote to me, after
leaving here; told me what his condition and prospects really were; and
offered me his hand. He told me he had seen I was not happy in the
prospect of Alfred's return. I believe he thought my heart had no part
in that contract; perhaps thought I might have loved him once, and did
not then; perhaps thought that when I tried to seem indifferent, I tried
to hide indifference--I cannot tell. But I wished that you should feel
me wholly lost to Alfred--hopeless to him--dead. Do you understand me,
love?"
Her sister looked into her face, attentively. She seemed in doubt.
"I saw Mr. Warden, and confided in his honor; charged him with my
secret, on the eve of his and my departure. He kept it. Do you
understand me, dear?"
Grace looked confusedly upon her. She scarcely seemed to hear.
"My love, my sister!" said Marion, "recall your thoughts a moment:
listen to me. Do not look so strangely on me. There are countries,
dearest, where those who would abjure a misplaced passion, or would
strive against some cherished feeling of their hearts and conquer it,
retire into a hopeless solitude, and close the world against themselves
and worldly loves and hopes for ever. When women do so, they assume that
name which is so dear to you and me, and call each other Sisters. But
there may be sisters, Grace, who, in the broad world out of doors, and
underneath its free sky, and in its crowded places and among its busy
life, and trying to assist and cheer it and to do some good,--learn the
same lesson; and, with hearts still fresh and young, and open to all
happiness and means of happiness, can say the battle is long past, the
victory long won. And such a one am I! You understand me now?"
Still she looked fixedly upon her, and made no reply.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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