Massachusetts -- Periodicals; New England -- Periodicals
She had no last words to say, nothing to leave;
it would be understood. She spread out the paper a little more, still
firmly, still so absorbed in the thought of escape as to have taken no
account of the way. Then she bent her face over it and slowly drew
nearer. Suddenly she raised her head; it seemed as if a voice had called
her, a voice so clear, so still, so full of power that she waited
submissive and wondering. In another moment she came to herself, the
brave self that suffering had thrust away usurping its place by a wicked
will. She drew a long breath as if waking from a horrible dream, and sat
quiet for a while, her hands clenched and brought together. She shivered
in the summer air. Suddenly she rose, took up the paper, and going to
the window, tossed it out, scattering its contents. "It shall never
tempt any one like this again," she said aloud.
Then slipping down to the floor, she leaned her arms upon the windowsill
and buried her face in them.
"God, forgive me," she cried. "It was Thy cross that I was casting off.
But my life is in Thy guidance. I will take all the pain from Thy hand.
Forgive me. Help me against my wicked pride. And in return for the
misery I have brought, give me something good that I may do, some little
favor. And yet--Thy will be done," she added brokenly, then trembled
lest that Will should refuse the one request which seemed to promise any
relief; trembled, but did not retract. "I will wait, I will trust," she
said, and looked into the depths beyond the stars with no fear that her
prayer would fall back into itself like a sound which, finding no home,
returns weary, and robbed of its meaning and strength. She knew that the
something which fell upon her was forgiveness too deep for words and an
assurance of guidance. For the telephone is not new but as old as
humanity and with a call in every man's consciousness. It summons him at
times to leave what he is doing and listen. And when in some depth of
need he sends a message, then, because no other ear than his may catch
the answer given, is there for that reason none? The soul is like
science; it cannot break through its boundaries and burst in upon the
unknowable that surrounds its little realm of knowledge, but wherever it
presses against these barriers they recede without being destroyed, and
the adventurer, still in his own domain, brings back new treasures to
the old life. The source of power is, we know, forever beyond us, but in
going out toward that we enter the realm of power and are charged with
it.
In the stillness that had fallen upon her Elizabeth rose softly, and
made her preparations for the night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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