The Best of the World's Classics, Restricted to Prose, Vol. VI (of X)—Great Britain and Ireland IV
General
The Best of the World's Classics, Restricted to Prose, Vol. VI (of X)—Great Britain and Ireland IV
Literature -- Collections
It was at the end of the chorus to the first verse, that Mr. Pickwick
held up his hand in a listening attitude, and said, as soon as silence
was restored:
"Hush! I beg your pardon. I thought I heard somebody calling from
up-stairs."
A profound silence immediately ensued; and Mr. Bob Sawyer was observed
to turn pale.
"I think I hear it now," said Mr. Pickwick. "Have the goodness to open
the door."
The door was no sooner opened than all doubt on the subject was
removed.
"Mr. Sawyer--Mr. Sawyer," screamed a voice from the two-pair landing.
"It's my landlady," said Bob Sawyer, looking around him with great
dismay. "Yes, Mrs. Raddle."
"What do you mean by this, Mr. Sawyer?" replied the voice, with great
shrillness and rapidity of utterance. "Ain't it enough to be swindled
out of one's rent, and money lent out of pocket besides, and abused
and insulted by your friends that dares to call themselves men,
without having the house turned out of window, and noise enough made
to bring the fire-engines here, at two o'clock in the morning? Turn
them wretches away."
"You ought to be ashamed of yourselves," said the voice of Mr. Raddle,
which appeared to proceed from beneath some distant bed-clothes.
"Ashamed of themselves!" said Mrs. Raddle. "Why don't you go down and
knock 'em every one down-stairs? You would if you was a man."
"I should if I was a dozen men, my dear," replied Mr. Raddle,
pacifically, "but they've rather the advantage of me in numbers, my
dear."
"Ugh, you coward!" replied Mrs. Raddle, with supreme contempt. "Do you
mean to turn them wretches out, or not, Mr. Sawyer?"
"They're going, Mrs. Raddle, they're going," said the miserable Bob.
"I am afraid you'd better go," said Mr. Bob Sawyer to his friends. "I
thought you were making too much noise."
"It's a very unfortunate thing," said the prim man. "Just as we were
getting so comfortable too!" The fact was the prim man was just
beginning to have a dawning recollection of the story he had
forgotten.
"It's hardly to be borne," said the prim man, looking round. "Hardly
to be borne, is it?"
"Not to be endured," replied Jack Hopkins; "let's have the other
verse, Bob. Come, here goes."
"No, no, Jack, don't," interposed Bob Sawyer; "it's a capital song,
but I am afraid we had better not have the other verse. They are very
violent people, the people of the house."
"Shall I step up-stairs, and pitch into the landlord?" inquired
Hopkins, "or keep on ringing the bell, or go and groan on the
staircase? You may command me, Bob."
"I am very much indebted to you for your friendship and good nature,
Hopkins," said the wretched Mr. Bob Sawyer, "but I think the best plan
to avoid any further dispute is for us to break up at once."
"Now, Mr. Sawyer," screamed the shrill voice of Mrs. Raddle, "are them
brutes going?"
"They're only looking for their hats, Mrs. Raddle," said Bob; "they
are going directly."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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