"Confirmed drunkenness," he said, "is a crime against the true laws of
God and man; it is far worse than adultery, and more than a sufficient
cause for separation. It is not alone that humanity demands it, but
could God make Himself heard in this sinful world there would be a
Divine mandate to enforce it." Other papers took up the subject. One
popular journal (the season being over, and the House not sitting)
made it a theme for the usual yearly correspondence, and columns
of letters were printed every day--from despairing husbands and
wives approving, from the clergy protesting, from politicians
shilly-shallying. Meanwhile my articles had come to an end.
There was no change in my home, except for the worse, and I grew to
hate it, to hate all who visited it, to hate myself. I had as little
authority in it as any chance guest. I breakfasted, dined, and slept
there--and, for variation, there were the scenes I had with Barbara.
The lies that were circulated as to my brutality towards her bore
fruit, and I was shunned by every soul in the neighborhood. Not a
person I met there had a smile or a cordial word for me, and not for
one sober hour did Barbara relax her cunning. In her mad fits she was
visible only to me and Annette; when she went about the house or was
seen in the streets her sad, listless ways (she was always sad when
sober) were apparent to all, and her conspicuous ill-health was
attributed to my conduct. It was the popular belief that I was
"killing her by inches." I heard the words uttered by one of our
servants to a servant in the adjoining house, and the indignant
comment upon them--"Brute!"
Maxwell tried to borrow money from me, but I was sufficiently incensed
to refuse him. "Not another shilling while I live," I said, and he
replied that I would live to repent it. Scoundrel as he was, he spoke
the truth.
The cases of the two poor homes ruined by a drunken husband and a
drunken wife, which I have just narrated, drove my thoughts upon my
own--and indeed it may have been because of the position in which I
stood that I sifted them to the bottom. They had a peculiar
fascination for me.
But even if the law of divorce were so altered as to rescue those
who are driven to despair, sometimes to crime, by this frightful
vice--which I pray may soon be so--a man situated as I was would find
no relief in it. The shame would have to be proved, and the web which
had been spun around me was of so cunning a nature that proof was
impossible in my case. On the contrary, indeed; all the evidence,
except my bare statements, would be turned against myself.
As an instance of the base arts employed to still further entangle and
incriminate me I recount the following circumstances. Whose devilish
ingenuity first conceived the idea I never discovered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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