The BigamistYoung, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Philosophy
The Bigamist
Young, F. E. Mills (Florence Ethel Mills)
Bigamy -- Fiction; British -- South Africa -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
She watched the tall figure disappear in the sunshine, and turned and
went indoors, feeling justly aggrieved with this man whom she liked
because he had fallen below the standard she believed him capable of
attaining to. Love is either an elevating or a destructive factor; it
is the supreme test of the qualities of the individual. She had
believed that George Dare was made of stouter stuff. But the human
being does not exist, she philosophised, on whom one can count
absolutely. One may be able to answer for a person's actions in
relation to most human events, then the unexpected event befalls and
one's calculations are entirely at fault.
Dare, as he walked away from her, was fully alive to the criticism his
behaviour evoked. He had been aware of her unspoken disapproval for
days, had anticipated the inevitable remonstrance. He admitted the
justice and the wisdom of her reproof, none the less it irritated him
intensely. It is usually the self-acknowledged wrong that one most
resents the detection of by another. When a man knows that his steps
are tending crookedly he likes to be assured that he is walking
straight; even though he recognises the assurance to be mistaken, it
gives him a comfortable sense of secure deception.
"After all," he reflected savagely, as though his conscience needed
reassuring on the point, "I am intending her no harm. It's my soul that
gets scorched."
But he knew, as he crossed the Arnotts' lawn to where Pamela sat under
the trees waiting for him, that he was to a certain extent disturbing
her peace. He filled the newly created blank in her life, added an
agreeable atmosphere of romance and excitement which for the time caused
her to cease to miss the happiness she was conscious of missing of late.
His homage was gratifying; it reinstated her in her own regard. In
these ways he was securing a place for himself, making himself necessary
to her.
She looked round at his approach, and a light came into her eyes, a
smile to her lips, as he drew near. With his critical faculties keenly
alert, following the recent interview, he noted more particularly the
gladness of her welcome, and felt the inexplicable something that was
like a mute bond of sympathy and understanding between them, perceived
the furtive shyness of her glance, the quick change of colour as their
hands met; and his mind became extraordinarily clear and active. He
roused himself from his mental attitude of personal engrossment, and
forced himself to an impartial consideration of her position. There was
not a shadow of a doubt about it, though she had possibly not discovered
the fact herself; she was becoming interested in him--in the man, not
merely the friend. There wasn't any danger, he told himself,--not yet;
but there might be.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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