The Book of Ballads, edited by Bon Gaultier [pseud.]Martin, Theodore, Sir
General
The Book of Ballads, edited by Bon Gaultier [pseud.]
Martin, Theodore, Sir
Parodies
Coats at five-and-forty shillings! trousers ten-and-six a pair!
Summer waistcoats, three a sov'reign, light and comfortable wear!
Taglionis, black or coloured, Chesterfield and velveteen!
The old English shooting-jacket--doeskins such as ne'er were seen!
Army cloaks and riding-habits, Alberts at a trifling cost!
Do you want an annual contract? Write to DOUDNEYS' by the post.
DOUDNEY BROTHERS! DOUDNEY BROTHERS! Not the men that drive the van,
Plastered o'er with advertisements, heralding some paltry plan,
How, by base mechanic stinting, and by pinching of their backs,
Lean attorneys' clerks may manage to retrieve their Income-tax:
But the old established business--where the best of clothes are given
At the very lowest prices--Fleet Street, Number Ninety-seven.
Wouldst thou know the works of DOUDNEY? Hie thee to the thronged Arcade,
To the Park upon a Sunday, to the terrible Parade.
There, amid the bayonets bristling, and the flashing of the steel,
When the household troops in squadrons round the bold field-marshals
wheel,
Shouldst thou see an aged warrior in a plain blue morning frock,
Peering at the proud battalions o'er the margin of his stock,--
Should thy throbbing heart then tell thee, that the veteran worn and grey
Curbed the course of Bonaparte, rolled the thunders of Assaye--
Let it tell thee, stranger, likewise, that the goodly garb he wears
Started into shape and being from the DOUDNEY BROTHERS' shears!
Seek thou next the rooms of Willis--mark, where D'Orsay's Count is
bending,
See the trouser's undulation from his graceful hip descending;
Hath the earth another trouser so compact and love-compelling?
Thou canst find it, stranger, only, if thou seek'st the DOUDNEYS'
dwelling!
Hark, from Windsor's royal palace, what sweet voice enchants the ear?
"Goodness, what a lovely waistcoat! Oh, who made it, Albert dear?
'Tis the very prettiest pattern! You must get a dozen others!"
And the Prince, in rapture, answers--"'Tis the work of DOUDNEY BROTHERS!"
Paris and Helen.
As the youthful Paris presses
Helen to his ivory breast.
Sporting with her golden tresses,
Close and ever closer pressed,
"Let me," said he, "quaff the nectar,
Which thy lips of ruby yield;
Glory I can leave to Hector,
Gathered in the tented field.
"Let me ever gaze upon thee,
Look into thine eyes so deep;
With a daring hand I won thee,
With a faithful heart I'll keep.
"Oh, my Helen, thou bright wonder,
Who was ever like to thee?
Jove would lay aside his thunder,
So he might be blest like me.
"How mine eyes so fondly linger
On thy smooth and pearly skin;
Scan each round and rosy finger,
Drinking draughts of beauty in!
"Tell me, whence thy beauty, fairest?
Whence thy cheek's enchanting bloom?
Whence the rosy hue thou wearest;
Breathing round thee rich perfume?"
Thus he spoke, with heart that panted,
Clasped her fondly to his side,
Gazed on her with look enchanted,
While his Helen thus replied:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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