Fathers and sons -- Fiction; Runaway wives -- Fiction; Sportswriters -- Fiction
Pat began to cry, but Peter found that it was only a sign of rage and
not of weakness. The child's refusal remained steadfast. Finally, Peter
spanked him for the first time in his life. It was not a success. Pat
cried a lot more but he ate no spinach. Press of other work kept Peter
from pursuing the problem for three days, during which time the child
reverted to his old diet. In a second personally conducted test, Peter
Neale managed to induce Pat both to drink milk and eat spinach, but it
was not exactly a triumph. The result was gained by strategy, which was
ingenious but also abject. Moreover, it was almost wholly accidental.
Driven desperate by an unyielding stubbornness, Peter at length lost his
temper and shouted at the child. "All right then, don't eat any spinach.
I won't let you eat any spinach."
Pat scowled and, reaching all the way across the table, helped himself
to a large spoonful. "I'm eating spinach," he said, "I'm eating it right
now."
The only thing of which Peter had a right to boast was that he did not
allow any false pride to stand between him and the object which he
sought. He was quick to seize his opportunity. Pat's seeming free will
was harnessed to serve the predetermined purposes of an ego less
powerful but more unscrupulous.
"Maybe you are eating a little spinach," said Peter, "but I guess you
won't dare take any milk when I tell you not to."
Pat fell into the trap. "Look at me now, Peter, I'm drinking it all
up."
Once he learned the method Peter became a strict disciplinarian. Almost
invariably Pat disobeyed with alacrity when he heard the stalwart and
ringing command, "Now, Pat, I don't want you to go to bed and I don't
want you to go this very minute." Of course the thing became a little
complicated. Even after much practice Peter used to get somewhat mixed
up over such instructions as, "No, the nightgown I don't want you to
wear is the one over there."
The eating problem was subjected to still further complexities. Peter
was shrewd enough to realize that the scheme of indirect discourse might
become strained beyond all usefulness if employed too much. Pat
conformed and yet it became evident at length that he saw through the
trickery. On his fifth birthday, for instance, at his party he made no
rush for the ice cream which was placed before him but looked up
plaintively and said, "Peter, why don't you tell me not to eat my ice
cream."
Accordingly, other games were invented. The milk race proved generally
useful but rules had to be devised to prevent Pat from going too fast.
Eventually the contest was introduced by Peter as "a slow milk race." In
order to prevent Pat from choking to death he would cry every now and
then "Measure!" At that signal both would lower their glasses and set
one against the other on the table. Pat took over the announcing of
these results. He used only one decision--"I'm ahead"--and this bore no
accurate relation to the actual quantity of milk in the two glasses.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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