Lee had been talking intensely, almost desperately for quite some time,
watching her as she lay back in her seat, her eyes half closed, hands
folded behind her neck, the perfect hemispheres of her breasts caressed
by the rainbows as they rose slowly with the even rhythm of her breath.
"And now you know everything, Oona," he ended, "do you think I'm mad?"
"No."
Her eyelids fluttered like wings of a butterfly as she turned to him.
Her right arm came down upon Lee's shoulder in a gesture of confidence.
He breathed relief as he saw no fear, not even uneasiness in the blue
depths of those beautiful eyes. Her hand upon his shoulder felt soothing
and at the same time electrifying; like the purple descending upon the
shoulder of a king.
"No," she repeated slowly: "the fact that you feel The Brain is alive
and possessed with a personality of its own, doesn't make you mad. I've
always felt that way about machines; even the simple ones like
automobiles. It was in the mountains north of San Francisco where I grew
up; whenever we went to town in winter time and the car came roaring
down those serpentines into the heavy air moist with fog and soft rains,
I could feel that engine breathe deeper and rejoice over its added
power. There was no doubt in my mind that it was a living thing. I often
went to the garage when I was little to talk to that car; to children of
another age their dolls were alive, for our generation it's the
machines. It's natural that this should be so. There's a child in every
man, no matter how adult. There is in Howard Scriven, too; in all the
scientists I've come to know, and the greater they are the more it is
distinct. You identify yourself with your work and in the degree you do
that it becomes a living thing; it is through vital imagination that we
become creators of anything, be it love or a machine. You needn't worry,
Semper; let The Brain be alive, let it be a personality, that doesn't
make you mad. All it indicates is that you're doing excellent work."
Lee blinked. With an effort he turned his eyes away from those breasts
which seemed to strive for the light of the sun from under the restraint
of her Navajo Indian sweater dress. He felt the utter inadequacy, the
devastating irony of words as now he was alone with Oona, up in the
clouds in a plane with nobody to interfere for the first time.
"You fool," a voice whispered in him, "you damned, you helpless fool.
Why don't you take her into your arms now? Isn't this the fulfillment of
all your dreams; what are you waiting for?" But: "No," his ration
answered, "that wouldn't do. Maybe she would give in to the mood of some
enchanted hour, maybe she would let herself be kissed. But if she did,
it would be 'one of those things'; the glory of the sunset, God's great
masterpiece, the Canyon spread below, the intensity of my desire. They
are bound to enter, bound to confuse the issue."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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