Go right to the "Family Friend" people and tell them that the "Whole Family" is placing a big lot of advertising and will cut into them in great shape. The "Friend" will give you a lot of advertising to place for them, for they are always "leery" of competition. I have already told these chumps that they will have to do a lot more advertising than they counted on in order to get ads themselves. They are going to let me pick the places, and you can stand to win on my picking places where the commission will be worth something. You can't do that so well with the "Friend" people, of course,--they'll pick for themselves,--but whatever we get from that end will be just so much to the good, and we'll divide profits in the middle. Now about the money here. Tell Jackson to present his bill before he turns their copy in. They will have to pay then if they have got any money, and if they haven't we'll find it out. They can't kick, for they've talked cash all the time, though they seem to think that means when the advertising is out, and I'll let them keep on thinking so awhile longer. Now, Dick, we ought to get a pretty good thing out of this by making it cut both ways, and I want you to attend to your end all O. K. You hustle the "Friend" folks and I'll "round up" these duffers. Then I'll come down in a day or two, and we'll go out where we can have a quiet drink and talk it over. Your commissions ought to swell up pretty well this month if we work this through properly, and mine ought to help out my salary here, which I shall go on pulling as long as their "dough" holds out to burn. Oh, but these fellows are a lot of jays! They instructed me when I came to take ads on the basis of a million circulation _at least_, and to charge _ten dollars a line_ for space. How's that? I'm doing it, of course! Yours, JOE. About the time, possibly, that Mr. Bates was preparing this letter, the proprietors of the "Whole Family" were gathered about a table under the studio skylight in earnest discussion. In the center of the table lay a large and loud-voiced watch, a small, inoffensive-looking camera, a savage-looking gun, and a rather showy Bible. After much argument they had finally agreed upon these articles as their premiums, as well as upon the necessity of following up their "cash for names" announcement with premium offers both in their own and other periodicals. They were gathered now to prepare the copy for this advertising. Perner was performing the mechanical labor, while the others assisted him with appropriate adjectives and sentences. "I don't think 'excellent' is a strong enough word for the watch," objected Van Dorn, picking up the noisy little tin box and regarding it rather sternly, perhaps because it did not suggest something more gratifying to the ear.